Women who’d be considered a 9 or a 10 in terms of looks, what percentage of your life do you actually spend looking like that, and what percentage of your life do you spend preparing to look like that (and what prep do you do)?
December 29, 2025
Women who’d be considered a 9 or a 10 in terms of looks, what percentage of your life do you actually spend looking like that, and what percentage of your life do you spend preparing to look like that (and what prep do you do)?
6 comments
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There was some urban slang a few years ago called a popcorn hoe, which is someone who appears average/unkempt most of the time (like a corn kernel) and then when she dresses up she suddenly transforms (like popcorn).
I remember that phrase because it’s meeeee. I once saw a workmate at the gym and he didn’t recognise me at first because I wasn’t wearing makeup.
The percentage I spend looking my best is probably 20%. I dress up for work, date nights and special events. The rest of the time my hair is in a bun and I wear activewear or track pants and hoodies.
I spend one night a week on grooming. I pluck and wax my eyebrows, gua sha my face, dry loofah, shave from head to toe, do a face mask, whiten my teeth, sleep in a hair mask, fake tan and wear Vaseline and socks on my feet overnight.
It takes me an hour to wash, dry & style my hair (it’s thick and very long), which I do twice a week, 3 times if I play sports.
I get my lashes and nails done once a month, I go to the gym most days and I apply makeup on weekdays.
All that effort to look mid most of the time, but at least I feel great.
I think this is a bot
[removed]
I am middle-aged now but for my 20s and early 30s, I was somewhere in the 8-10 range, both face and figure. I got so much male attention on an almost daily basis. I would get free taxi rides from drivers who didn’t want to charge me and couldn’t even order a cup of coffee without a compliment. Married men regularly asked me to have affairs, and at work, I was sent in to close deals and charm clients. All of that disappeared when I got over 35. For my age, I’m probably around a 6 now.
But to answer your question, I used to put a huge amount of effort into my looks because the results paid off. I was naturally beautiful but if I added hair and makeup and the right little dress, I stopped traffic. I spent about 45 minutes getting ready for work every day. If I had a date or a big event – easily a 2+ hour prep process. I worked out 7 days a week, sometimes morning and evening to maintain my tiny figure. Every Sunday night, I did the weekly maintenance (tweezing and other hair removal, buffing, exfoliation, facial). On top of doing laser hair removal, biweekly pedicures, etc. I hid this “beautify work” from everyone, even boyfriends, because I wanted them to think it was all natural. I would never do my beauty routine or even put on makeup in front of a boyfriend. I never had a boyfriend see me bare-faced and was always wearing at least a little bit of makeup. Oh, I also lived on 1,200 calories a day. Yes, I definitely approached toxic vanity territory. I was validated by the attention I got.
But NOW, at my age, I take about 20 minutes to get ready and out the door. I eat what I want and exercise in moderation. I recently let a boyfriend see me without makeup for the first time in my life. I’d like to say I matured and got over the vanity but the truth is, when I got older, I wasn’t getting the results I wanted from all this work anymore. When your face and body ages, you don’t get the same outcome to effort ratio. Your body won’t respond to exercise the same way. Gravity takes over and skin sags. Yeah, I could spend 2 hours getting ready for dinner but I’m not going to look amazing – I’m still going to look like a middle aged woman. So I thought, why waste my time? It’s true that the older a woman gets, the more invisible she becomes. So what am I putting all the effort in for? What do I care if I look great or not?
Also, on a practical level, when you get older, less is more in terms of makeup. Heavy makeup can age you and products don’t go on older skin the same way. (Young women, wait until you try to apply a cat eye liner onto sagging eyelids with wrinkles around your eyes! It doesn’t work!🤣) So, minimalism actually ends up looking way better.
But what happens when you put in less effort over time is that you do start to see yourself differently. When I was young, my whole worth was in my looks. I thought I needed to be stunning to be worth inviting to a dinner party. So, being forced to give up the cat eye has been good for me in that respect! (I’m against all anti-aging cosmetic procedures personally but some women try to prolong the fight or resist this process by dropping thousands for needles and knives – no, thank you!)
The other thing I’ve learned is that, although beauty may open doors for you (you sail through job interviews, get a lot of dates from
men), it doesn’t actually give you anything substantive. You can still get fired, you can still lose the guy. I meet women every day who are 4s/5s and are married with nice husbands who are good to them, kids, a nice home, good career. I don’t have any of those things right now. The 5s of the world are living the life I wish I had. So what did all that effort matter for in the end? It really is fleeting. Young 9s, by all means have fun with makeup, hair and dressing up, go ahead and look your best, but invest time and effort in your looks with some perspective and moderation.
I have genuinely never, in my entire life, considered what number I am or could aspire to be if I put more effort in.
6 comments
[removed]
There was some urban slang a few years ago called a popcorn hoe, which is someone who appears average/unkempt most of the time (like a corn kernel) and then when she dresses up she suddenly transforms (like popcorn).
I remember that phrase because it’s meeeee. I once saw a workmate at the gym and he didn’t recognise me at first because I wasn’t wearing makeup.
The percentage I spend looking my best is probably 20%. I dress up for work, date nights and special events. The rest of the time my hair is in a bun and I wear activewear or track pants and hoodies.
I spend one night a week on grooming. I pluck and wax my eyebrows, gua sha my face, dry loofah, shave from head to toe, do a face mask, whiten my teeth, sleep in a hair mask, fake tan and wear Vaseline and socks on my feet overnight.
It takes me an hour to wash, dry & style my hair (it’s thick and very long), which I do twice a week, 3 times if I play sports.
I get my lashes and nails done once a month, I go to the gym most days and I apply makeup on weekdays.
All that effort to look mid most of the time, but at least I feel great.
I think this is a bot
[removed]
I am middle-aged now but for my 20s and early 30s, I was somewhere in the 8-10 range, both face and figure. I got so much male attention on an almost daily basis. I would get free taxi rides from drivers who didn’t want to charge me and couldn’t even order a cup of coffee without a compliment. Married men regularly asked me to have affairs, and at work, I was sent in to close deals and charm clients. All of that disappeared when I got over 35. For my age, I’m probably around a 6 now.
But to answer your question, I used to put a huge amount of effort into my looks because the results paid off. I was naturally beautiful but if I added hair and makeup and the right little dress, I stopped traffic. I spent about 45 minutes getting ready for work every day. If I had a date or a big event – easily a 2+ hour prep process. I worked out 7 days a week, sometimes morning and evening to maintain my tiny figure. Every Sunday night, I did the weekly maintenance (tweezing and other hair removal, buffing, exfoliation, facial). On top of doing laser hair removal, biweekly pedicures, etc. I hid this “beautify work” from everyone, even boyfriends, because I wanted them to think it was all natural. I would never do my beauty routine or even put on makeup in front of a boyfriend. I never had a boyfriend see me bare-faced and was always wearing at least a little bit of makeup. Oh, I also lived on 1,200 calories a day. Yes, I definitely approached toxic vanity territory. I was validated by the attention I got.
But NOW, at my age, I take about 20 minutes to get ready and out the door. I eat what I want and exercise in moderation. I recently let a boyfriend see me without makeup for the first time in my life. I’d like to say I matured and got over the vanity but the truth is, when I got older, I wasn’t getting the results I wanted from all this work anymore. When your face and body ages, you don’t get the same outcome to effort ratio. Your body won’t respond to exercise the same way. Gravity takes over and skin sags. Yeah, I could spend 2 hours getting ready for dinner but I’m not going to look amazing – I’m still going to look like a middle aged woman. So I thought, why waste my time? It’s true that the older a woman gets, the more invisible she becomes. So what am I putting all the effort in for? What do I care if I look great or not?
Also, on a practical level, when you get older, less is more in terms of makeup. Heavy makeup can age you and products don’t go on older skin the same way. (Young women, wait until you try to apply a cat eye liner onto sagging eyelids with wrinkles around your eyes! It doesn’t work!🤣) So, minimalism actually ends up looking way better.
But what happens when you put in less effort over time is that you do start to see yourself differently. When I was young, my whole worth was in my looks. I thought I needed to be stunning to be worth inviting to a dinner party. So, being forced to give up the cat eye has been good for me in that respect! (I’m against all anti-aging cosmetic procedures personally but some women try to prolong the fight or resist this process by dropping thousands for needles and knives – no, thank you!)
The other thing I’ve learned is that, although beauty may open doors for you (you sail through job interviews, get a lot of dates from
men), it doesn’t actually give you anything substantive. You can still get fired, you can still lose the guy. I meet women every day who are 4s/5s and are married with nice husbands who are good to them, kids, a nice home, good career. I don’t have any of those things right now. The 5s of the world are living the life I wish I had. So what did all that effort matter for in the end? It really is fleeting. Young 9s, by all means have fun with makeup, hair and dressing up, go ahead and look your best, but invest time and effort in your looks with some perspective and moderation.
I have genuinely never, in my entire life, considered what number I am or could aspire to be if I put more effort in.