So me (28m) and my gf (23f) have been together 2 years now. Meeting her was instant fairytale stuff. We talked for hours every day, and moved in together super fast (less than a year). Everything was and has been perfect, except for our sex life. She told me she'd never dated anyone before, which is fine. She's a total nerd who makes star wars characters out of clay all day, (which I love), and romantic relationships terrify her. So the whole time it was zero sexual anything. Not even touching her in any way close to anything sexual, not seeing her naked, nothing. First year I figured it's her first relationship, she's nervous, totally fine, I didn't push and was just happy to spend time with her.
Second year rolls in, still exactly the same. I finally asked if maybe she's asexual towards me but she got SUPER defensive and upset. She says she IS attracted towards me, but shes just tired from work and nervous. And I specify "towards me" because she's said this whole time she's super horny everyday, masturbates frequently to porn, and even draws her own porn stuff as an artist for fun. So I know she enjoys the idea of sex. But when it comes to doing something with me? Nope.
Lately whats scares me is I don't even have any desire to try anymore. Not just "I know she'll say no" or whatever. it legit feels bad. The want is gone. Like if a monkey wanted a banana but every time it reached for it, it got shocked. At some point it wouldnt even want the banana anymore
Its so bad because I don't want to be with anyone else, I love her more than anything. And she's not doing anything wrong, if this is how she feels, thats okay. But we're literally getting a house together right now, things are super serious. I don't want to pressure her, I don't want to leave her, but I also don't want to feel like this forever. Do I pause buying the house with her until we figure this out? What would you do before moving forward?
TLDR: buying a house with my gf of 2 years, but she doesn't want to do anything sexual, and this whole time I thought she did. I love her but I dont want to be without sex. I'm not leaving her but don't want to be celibate the rest of my life. what do?