My boyfriend ‘21/M’ and I ‘20/F’ have been together for 4 years and recently moved in together to a city about 3 hours away from where we were raised. His family still lives in our hometown, while mine moved closer to where we live now because my twin brother and I both attend university here.
I come from a very close-knit family that welcomed my boyfriend warmly from the beginning. They supported us visiting his family for the holidays, as long as we returned home between major celebrations. Where I’m from, we celebrate Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, and Three Kings Day, so this meant we’d be traveling back and forth over about three weeks.
I’ve met his family before and they are polite, but distant. Since arriving, I’ve noticed that his parents invite him to family activities and holiday plans, but they never include me or even mention whether I’m welcome. This has caused tension between my boyfriend and his family, but he avoids confrontation and usually just goes along with whatever they decide.
As a result, I’ve been left completely alone during every holiday while he goes to celebrate with his family. This has been extremely hard for me, especially since I’m used to always being with family during holidays. I’ve talked to my boyfriend about how this makes me feel, but he says he didn’t expect his parents to behave this way and believes things will improve once his older sister ‘23F’ visits with her new boyfriend.
At this point, I feel hurt and exhausted. I’ve considered going back home, but due to a medical condition, I’m unable to drive long distances on my own. I feel stuck and unsure how to handle this situation.
How can I approach this situation regarding my boyfriend’s inability to take how much this is hurting me into account?
TL;DR:
I traveled with my boyfriend to visit his family for the holidays, but they only invite him to celebrations and leave me alone. He avoids confrontation and says it’ll improve later. I feel hurt and isolated and want to know if it’s reasonable to expect him to stand up for me.