He's about 5'4" max on a good day and maybe weighs around 200 lbs. He works part time in Walmart and is very unkempt and clearly does not care about appearance. The only thing going for him is his confidence (surprisingly) and he's probably asked at least 200 women for their numbers but has gotten zero.
He's also not socially awkward and looks like a nice guy but is obviously unattractive. He believes that someone will love him just the way he is and refuses to change because he will be "perfect" to the right person.
How do I convince him that he needs to get a better job and actually groom himself if he even wants a bit of a chance of getting a partner?
Also I mention that he's Indian because Indians are, at least on social media, one of the most unwanted races.
Arranged marriage is not possible because no one his parents tried to set him up with wants him and he doesn't believe in it.
Edit: people getting the wrong impression that I'm forcing some kind of an unwanted advice to him. Let me clarify: he asked for an advice and I told him to get his money up and maximize his looks. He just didn't like that and so I'm lost.
14 comments
Mind your own business
Why do you need to convince him?
You can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink
Sounds like your friend needs new friends
Why is that your problem to fix? You can’t change ppl. If they want to change, you can help, but you’ll only waste your time trying to change someone, who doesn’t see the need to change themselves.
It sounds like hes confident and YOU are the problem here. And what are your traits? How tall are you? How do you look?
He asked for advice
You have him advice
He didn’t take your advice
No need to do anything anymore. You did all you can do
It seems hes happy like that. Can’t change people sometimes. He may find someone that hes interested in, that would inspire him to change.
there are times where i see a capitalistic philosophy poison every aspect of our lives. money, money, money, looks, looks, looks, its so fucking superficial.
Telling him he needs to “fix himself” won’t land…. change never comes from shame.
The only thing that actually works is being a real friend and helping him figure out a future he genuinely wants.
But at the end of the day, only he can decide when he’s ready to choose himself first.
Sometimes people don’t change because they’ve never felt worth changing for.
It’s quite clear that you are in love with your friend.
I fell for an indian short guy, none of the people around me saw him as attractive, so dw about him he will find someone
Rage bait. I’m not biting.
He asked for advice, you gave it. He can choose to use your advice or he can ignore it. You’ve done your bit.