I’ve known my husband for over 20 years. We met in 8th grade and began dating in high school. He was attentive, loving, and deeply committed. Our relationship was strong, our families were close, and our life together felt healthy and stable.
We got engaged around age 22 and married at 26. About one year into our marriage, he told me he had been addicted to meth. I was shocked, as I had no experience with drugs and did not know the signs of addiction. He worked in the restaurant industry his entire life. We agreed he would stop using, and he told me he quit cold turkey. I believed him.
Over the years, we built a life together. We had a daughter, sold a business, moved, bought a home, and later opened additional restaurants. During COVID, businesses closed and reopened, but we continued moving forward. By 2023, he had returned to the restaurant industry and described his new restaurant as a “sober restaurant,” stating he was committed to sobriety. He appeared stable and high-functioning, and I believed he was sober. By then, we also had a son.
What I later learned was that he had not only relapsed but was also selling drugs. Our home was raided twice. He has been to rehab five times in total, including twice this year. On both occasions this year, he left rehab after six days, convincing me that he needed to be home to get better and stating that rehab made him “feel like an addict.”
This past year has been extremely distressing. During a family vacation, he disappeared for two hours and later admitted he had gone to get heroin because he was afraid of withdrawing. That was when I learned he was addicted to both heroin and meth.
In May, he told me he wanted to separate, saying he was unhappy and that there was no chemistry between us. This was confusing, as we had recently returned from what I believed was a positive and loving vacation. On our son’s birthday, after another family trip to Cancun, he admitted he had brought drugs with him. I then discovered he was involved in a relationship with another woman, and I found a photo of a needle.
At that point, everything became clear. I realized that throughout our ten-year marriage, he had been consistently lying to me. I was in shock and struggled to understand how I had not seen the signs, but I had trusted him completely.
More recently, I learned that he had been smoking heroin in our backyard while our family slept. He has overdosed three times in our home, and I revived him.
I have now decided to file for divorce. We have two children, and I do not believe it is safe or appropriate for them to be around him under these circumstances. I am still trying to understand how someone I loved and trusted for most of my life was able to live a double life for so long. I’m just in complete shock. He hasn’t fought for us or even tried getting clean. If anything he encourages divorce. It’s like he’s trying to save me. I am convinced his new normal is being high. i’d like to add that he is prescribed suboxone and he lied about taking it. He basically came back home with a new plan to manipulate and lie. I’m just devastated