Is this emotional cheating or is my husband just trying to be nice ?
Also, is it okay to address the situation with him by saying this :
I’ve had this heavy feeling in my stomach that I just can’t shake. I’ve been praying and asking God for direction because I don’t want to talk about this with anyone else but you. This is coming from a place of love, not anger.
I don’t know if I’m overthinking or being hard on myself, but ever since the incident with (friend) or maybe that’s just when I became more aware
I’ve felt a bit of a disconnect between us. We were doing so well after you came back from OCS, excited about moving in together, and I truly felt close to you. After that day, even though I try to connect with you and we’ve grown more intimate, I still can’t shake this feeling of worry.
I know you still talk to her. I’ve noticed the way you communicate and how sometimes you hide your phone when you’re messaging her. I don’t bring it up because I don’t want to create conflict or push you away, and part of me thinks maybe you’re just trying to avoid hurting my feelings. But it also makes me wonder “if there’s something you’re concerned about me seeing, why send those messages at all?”
I also want to be honest about this I don’t want to feel like I’m competing with any other woman for my husband’s attention. I understand that she’s your friend, but I believe there should be clear boundaries on both sides that give me peace. Seeing you tell her that you love her, or things like that, is very unsettling for me. It makes me feel uncomfortable and insecure, even if that’s not your intention. Telling her that you love her, having emotionally intimate conversations, or communicating in ways that you wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing with me crosses a line for me. That kind of connection should belong to us only.
This isn’t about jealousy. What worries me is knowing how you and I fell in love by becoming close friends. It makes me scared that something similar could happen again, even unintentionally. I just want honesty, reassurance, and to feel secure with you, because you matter so much to me.
I’m telling you this because I love you and I want us to protect what we have.