Im making this post here because you guys can call me out on my bull and help me get to the place where I can start making meaningful friendships again.
I want to preface by saying I have no problems historically with making and maintaining deep connections. It wasnt until I moved out on my own and went through a traumatic relationship that this happened.
Last summer, I separated from my husband. He hurt me really badly, and things in our relationship had been going very poorly for the longest time. When I did this, I lost a lot of friends, especially after my husband and I reconciled and made significant changes in our relationship. While he and I are doing much better, I can't for the life of me open up to anyone.
My closest friend, my maid of honor, my high school best friend, said she had a hard time believing me. That I was giving half truths. And has gradually distanced herself from me.
I was a christian at the time, and prior to our separation joined a church and started making connections with folks. Once I came back, they didnt want to hang out anymore, even the people I would hang out with on the regular. No more responses to texts, nothing.
I gave it one more try. I opened up to a friend
that I spent a lot of time with and had been close to for about a year at this point. And then, she stopped talking to me. I'd say it's officially fizzled out as of December. All I mentioned was a situation with someone at work. I read the room and everything, she seemed reciprocal and supportive. But after that interaction? No texts. Flaky. Again, after a year of being very close and talking on the daily.
I'm tired. I'm really sad. I'm really lonely. And I shouldn't post this on the internet for strangers to give me advice, but where else do I go? Sharing personal details about my life on how I've been hurt isnt a regular occurance, I'm able to tell (or thought I was able to tell) when the appropriate time to share is. I just keep putting my trust in the wrong people, and keep getting burned.
I can give more details in the comments. Ask any questions you need to clarify the situation and I'll do my best to answer them.