This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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I’m picking some photos for my OLD profile. Would 1-2 pics where the face isn’t clearly visible, but I’m doing something like scuba diving or wearing a racing helmet, be a good idea? Or just not facing the camera, but interacting with some cute animals or something.
What’s everyone’s plans for New Years Eve? Any dates or parties or anything fun?
I’m playing The Mass Effect series for the first time as a friend wants to watch me play it and relive playing it for the first time. That or I’ll watch TV until I fall asleep lol.
being home for the holidays and both of my sisters recently had babies. holding these babies reinforced my want to be a father. i’m ready to take dating seriously and find my person. looking forward to what 2026 has in store for me
So I matched with this girl right before Christmas. Due to the holidays and traveling we aren’t meeting up until the 7th. Anyways I had fun talking to her but our conversation naturally died off Christmas night. I want to obviously keep talking to her before the date but I don’t want to force conversation and feel like we have to constantly talk before even meeting. I know how stupid this sounds but should I reach out today or tomorrow just to see how things are going or reach out again like a couple days before to check up and then confirm we’re still good for the date?
Random updates that are so disorganized:
Things are progressing with a guy I’m dating and we were seeing each other 1 time a week for the first 6 weeks. We spent my birthday together and he really spoiled me. I didn’t realize how he was actually getting to know me until then. Now he’s made an effort to see me every other day this week and expressed he wants to see me tomorrow too.
I was gonna bring up wanting to delete my dating apps for the new year with him yesterday but I chickened out 😆🤣. After processing it, I realize that the reason I want to bring it up with him is to gauge his response—which seems a little manipulative/passive aggressive. I’m just gonna delete it because im not using it and I don’t like my info on the app forever, and not worry what he thinks.
I got his dog a Xmas gift too.
This has been the slowest I’ve dated someone and the pace was painfully slow at first but now I feel like we are going somewhere. He’s honestly such a sweet guy and unlike any of the other people I have dated before
I invited him to work out with me at my gym when he wants to. He seemed interested and happy I wanted to include him in that part of my life. I don’t know scheduling wise if it will happen as he is at work when I go; but I’m glad I was able to invite him.
How soon is too soon to go grocery shopping together?
I have started dating someone and have noticed myself already thinking a lot about wanting to fold laundry with her and fantasizing about doing dishes while she puts leftovers in tupperwear. I’m certain that I am getting ahead of myself because I miss the domestic rhythms of being married so so so much.
I don’t know. I feel so weird. Like very good and then very bad. Tbh I wonder if I actually don’t have BPD myself.
Like this morning I woke up and I literally wanted to write “among all the possible realities across all galaxies I feel so lucky to be right here right now”.
Yesterday when we met after 2 days not seeing each other (and it was the 6th “date”) I saw he seemed so happy to see me, we joked a lot, kissed a lot, cuddled a lot, and had great sex. Then throughout the night we slept quiet for some time hugging each other super tightly, then when waking up immediately leaned for a kiss.
But I am monitoring each sign of him not liking me so much. Like this morning I asked if I can come to his place between two appointments, and he said yes, if he doesn’t have any plans. Then also I told him that the capital of my country was shelled over night and he literally just commented “oh okay”.
Then he said he has two toothbrushes and I can use one of them – I clearly thought these were NEW tooth brushes but when I went to the bathroom I saw these were the used one. Like what???
On the other hand he went to get breakfast and brought it in bed like last time. And when I was leaving he was sweet and funny too, told me to call him when I decide what I do between my appointments.
Ah and yeah I got him a Xmas gift and he felt bad coz he didn’t have one for me. But this is okay. I didn’t expect anything back.
Then I feel we don’t talk much, but then over text sometimes he switches to his native language since he cannot express it well in English, so maybe it’s also this. No idea. But the sex and the cuddles are the best I have ever had. Eh
(He is also very tired all the time, but I knew it, he would mention it every day since the beginning of us texting. He also clarified that he was in a psychiatric hospital for several months due to severe depression and suicide ideation, but it was 2 years ago. He is regularly seeing a psychiatrist for his mental health, even today he mentioned he was texting with him).
Any guesses on how long it’ll take to get a reply to my “how was your Christmas?” text?
It’s been a day and a half already 🤡
Christmass alone again… staring to the void.
Basically, that’s it. I’m 36 years old, autistic, and I’ve never had a partner or anything remotely close to one with a woman (except for paying $30 for a kiss from a girl).
In the last eight years, I’ve had four dating coaches, over 2,000 cold approaches, I’m a functional adult, I work, I go to the gym, I use skincare, I’m a musician, and a nerdy guy who loves video games, science, and music!
At midnight, when the fireworks started going off loudly, far from being bothered by the noise, I found myself lost in thought. Thinking about how I’m running out of time, hair, and energy or self-esteem to keep trying. The part of me that hates feeling bad tells me to give up and accept that I’m not enough for anyone. The part that longs to be loved begs me not to give up. I wouldn’t wish autism on my worst enemy; it’s the main reason why I’m a repellent to the opposite sex.
I’d like to know what love is; romance anime no longer fill the void.
When I talk to friends or my therapist about dating, all they can say is “well you’d have better luck in (nearby city).” The city is over an hour away – so everyone is telling me I have no chance unless I’m willing to drive nearly 3 hours round trip. I’m off the apps, so I wouldn’t be going to meet someone for a specific date, it would be up to random encounters. This feels like insane and useless advice to me. None of them met their partners that way! There just has to be something else. What has worked for you folks?
This is the least feeling Saturday that has ever Saturday’d. I think we all enter a limbo state over Christmas where the days hold no meaning.
The simulation is resetting!!
Told my ex-husband that I wanted to introduce the kids to the person I’ve been dating once we get through the holidays. That’ll be about 6 months of dating seriously. He is also divorced and also has a daughter. Ex and I don’t have anything written stating a specific timeline for introducing people to kids but have always said 6 months to a year. When I told him and said I wanted to introduce them soon, I asked how he’d prefer me to handle it. I said he was welcome to meet or talk to him first or ask me any questions about him.
He basically said “No fucking way.” I try to be respectful of how we each parent but I think this is more about him being angry with me than anything else.
I’m unsure what to do now. I know I don’t need his permission. My partner and I have plans made all the way out through the summer and I don’t see things changing soon. We’ve been separated/divorced for 3 years and I haven’t introduced the kids to anyone in that time. I don’t take these things lightly. UGH.
Met someone amazing in the wild. I wasn’t looking, paused the apps, and just let it happen. We had a slight misunderstanding when he asked me to hangout on Christmas Eve but we clarified last night and ended up having an amazing night together. No sex but damn, did I feel that kiss connection. It was the best first kiss I’ve ever had. We sat on a doc on Laguna Bacalar and kissed for 4 hours under the night sky.
How do you deal with EVERYBODY and their mother trying to give advice about how to date, where to find people, how to know he’s the one. Like even other single people, as soon as you’re out of a relationship or saying that you’re trying, everybody just neeeeeeeeds to let you know exactly how you should do it and God forbid you disagree, then you’re going to be miserable for the rest of your life and cheated on. I’m so freaking tired. Maybe I don’t want the kind of relationships you want? Or the men that you want, or the life that you want, or better yet, if you can’t get it for yourself, why on earth should I even listen to you?????? Eurgh.
Sorry. Rough night.
The guy from my last post, “new first best date ever”, is coming back from out of town today. And he wants to get together as soon as he gets his dog settled and has a moment to refresh from the travel back. I’m so excited!
Got back on the apps and have been reminded that a crush is just a lack of information. I feel like the idea of dating in general just got knocked off its pedestal. Might have to give approach signals (advice welcome) to my gym crush because this ain’t it.
Noooo I texted my coworker after i said i was going to wait for him to initiateand show interest. We had a date and kissed before Xmas but I’ve been driving the whole thing.
I was supposed to leave it but I want to hear him say he doesn’t want to go any further and not just sit here wishing to hear from him. Hello, yes, anxious attachment right the way through me…
I just ended a 5 month relationship that I had been so hopeful for- he was nice financially stable, good family. But he was SO boring. Wouldn’t plan anything, had nothing to talk about, didn’t discipline his kid. So now I am ending the year single and relieved that the most boring relationship I have ever endured is over. Also, men, how do you get into your 40s and not know what a clitoris is. Read some articles, watch porn, anything! I thought he would know what he was doing, being almost 50.. worst sex of my life. ✌️✌️✌️✌️
Lord I hate online dating. I’ve made it pretty clear to this guy I’d like to meet him in person, he seems very engaged over text, and yet he’s said a couple times things like he feels like he’s coming on too strong or whatever. Like my guy? I’ve even given you availability! I’m starting to wonder at this point if he just likes the texting. I hate texting though and just want to meet up. Ugh.
So I’d definitely like to meet this person that asked me for coffee after the holiday. Sent her my availability a week ago and crickets so far. I get that’s it’s the a busy time of year but now that it’s the next weekend I’d like to start scheduling other stuff for the coming weeks.
Just wondering what y’all think about sending a follow up a week later? Normally it’s whatever but I’m definitely interested in meeting her and don’t want to come off as pushy. I find that really unattractive.
Probably overthinking.
Getting harder and harder to remain open and hopeful. I don’t know what to do anymore. Someone at my gym regularly flirts with me, I reciprocate, he doesn’t ever make a move. Match with guys online and few will actually type enough to have a conversation with me, despite me asking questions and practically always carrying the conversation. Relatively attractive woman, fit, not a 10. Last guy had me fooled and duped and dipped out the moment I let my guard down and trusted him. He didn’t mind sleeping with me, just couldn’t go past surface level or deliver on what he was saying after telling me how much he liked me 🙄.
Do you know how sometimes you grieve someone a little less as time goes on, until one day you just don’t think about them as much anymore? And suddenly, you go days without thinking of them or missing them?
Is it possible to get to that point with anticipating relationships too? Melt so much into doing things alone or with friends that you stop looking around for attractive men, or stop wondering if the next handsome guy might be the one for you? Has anyone successfully stepped back far enough from dating that you’ve just been entirely content with what is going on and you stopped thinking about dating or “the one” for a time?
Even though I’m off the apps, and I’m not actively trying to meet anyone, and I’ve made an attempt to frame every conversation I have with a man as platonic, I still think about the idea of a relationship quite a bit. I’m not even sure how escapable it is.