How old was your pet?
How long has it been since they passed away?
Did they go naturally or where they put down?
If they were put down, do you ever think they were put down too early?
In the month leading up to their death, did you know it was imminent or where you in denial?
It's been 2 weeks since I had my dog put down. He was 16.5 years old and I had him for almost his entire life. I think he was probably 3 to 4 weeks old when he came into my life. In early November, he had six bad seizures in the span of about 8 or 9 hours and these took place in the middle of the night to very early morning hours. He some how survived the night and I took him to the emergency vet first thing in the morning.
The vet "stabelized" him and I was able to take him home with stronger seizure meds (he was already on medication to control seizures) and a new UTI diagnosis and antibiotics. I did not know that it was the start of the last 33 days of his life.
Long story shorter, the UTI meds did not work after going through two rounds totaling about 25 days. He was urinaring about every 2 hours and it smelled awful. He also never fully recovered from those seizures. Maybe it was the heavy meds, maybe it was brain damage caused by the seizure, or both but he was just lethargic, had trouble walking (turns out he was suffering from degenerative myelopathy), and just seemed to be existing but not living. He was mosly blind and mostly deaf prior to this. And the seizures seemed to make that worse. He lost his smile and only perked up a little for dog treats.
I was able to provide 24/7 care for him during the last month of his life and was actually hopeful that he was going to pull through all of this until about 10 days before he was put down……….
Im rambling now so to answer my own question. Two weeks after his death, I'm functional but depressed. I cried a lot the week leading up to and the week after. I'm not crying anymore in the 2nd week after his death. I feel like I need to, it literally feels like its right there but it just won't come out. I even play music that I though would induce a good cry but nothing. I feel guilty and feel like I gave up on him even though all of the signs (most not mentioned here) said he didn't have much longer and that he would suffer the longer the stuck around.
I don't like coming home from work becasue my place feels so empty now and my entire routine is off. My mind keeps replying his last moments alive at the vet and seeing him lifeless in my arms after he was put down.
I'm just waiting for the happy memories to flood back in because how I feel now sucks. Its awful.