My partner and I (both in our mid 20s) have been together for a little over a year. I would say our sex has gotten better over time, though I feel like we run into the same issue over and over again.
Both of us solely get off to pleasing the other person. I can’t count how many times we had this exact same conversation during sex: “What do you want to do now?” “What do YOU want to do now?” and then it’s just a cycle of wanting the other person to suggest something. We both enjoy giving in every scenario way more than receiving. I just cannot enjoy anything related to me being the focus, like oral or fingering. We both just kind of spiral because we can’t agree on something and it’s a back and forth that sometimes, not often though, kills the mood. For me it’s almost impossible to find a compromise because i just can't shake off the uncomfortable feelings and thoughts the second a position or practice revolves around me. But he WANTS to give and feels the same about receiving, which is what turns ME on. You see where this is going.
Is this just inherent incompatibility or are there any methods to make things work without overthinking and awkward conversations mid sex? We are pretty vanilla and I'm not well versed in all the practices and techniques there are. Need some food for thought.