Long story short. We met online, I drove to his country (we are the same nationality) to meet him, we had a great time (filled with intimacy of course) and before the meeting and after, we talk a lot. We can talk on the phone for the whole day almost, we text a lot, he is the one to call me first always, he calls me right after work, and at home, and from store and before sleep and we sleep together on phone calls sometimes. We text a lot and stuff. And we have been inseparable for 3 months since we met(he messaged me first and kept messaging even if I was giving him short replies)
When I was at his house for the weekend (we met for the first time) and I left on Monday, he didnt stop me but after few days he told me – why did you have to go, you could have stay and stuff..I think he missed me (I wanted to stay but didnt wanted to stay too long and annoy him) .nevermind, he is at his family now and we kinda planned him taking me to his home for New Year's Eve (its not confirmed yet).
When he drove to his family for few hours (whole day) we talked the whole ride almost. He updates me with everything and so do I(he calls me always which I think is a big indicator he is into me too)
Okay. And now another part of the story.
Before we met, two months ago, we talked on the phone. His phone started buzzing and I asked why arent you picking up? And he says -its my ex.
My stomach dropped.
He said I will pick up and call you back.
He calls me back saying her father died (its true) and she wanted to talk (they broke up three years ago, one year ago she went "missing" or run away and he said he was worried, cried because he was afraid of her and sent her money to go back to her country).
So we continue talking, I ask if there is something between them? He says no. He says she was with someone, wanted to get back with him but he doesn't want that.
We continue talking during those 2 months and his phone ocassionally buzzes during our phone call.
I guessed twice -is this your ex? He said -yes, I dont want to talk to her.
Its a good thing he didnt hide that but it still makes me worried.
He claims she "haven't call me in three weeks, she sometimes just randomly calls".
Fast forward to two weeks ago, I am at his place and I was about to leave and it was 7pm and his phone buzzes (he had his phone with wim all the time) and he doesnt pick up.
I ask if that's her and he confirms. He didnt pick up. She called twice. He said "I haven't talked to her for three weeks" which means he did pick up three weeks ago. And I dont know why.
Also when I was at his place we kinda got drunk and I asked him if he is going to meet with her since he visits his family and its the city she lives in too and he says "no, I won't meet her. She would like to but I dont want to. I won't do that."
I asked who is more important me or her?
He says "she isn't important at all" also he mentioned she "even has a man probably"(i dont think that's true). He said this relationship was a "huge mistake". I asked what are you talking about, do you catch up on your lives or what? And he said I am interrogating him and joked I'm jealous
So from what he says:
– she calls him randomly
– he doesnt want to go back with her
-I asked and he doesnt have emotional connection with her
He can talk with me for long hours on phone and text so I doubt he would still do that long distance if he wanted to go back with her.
He prioritizes contact with me and even wanted to meet me again, we text and talk everyday, he is caring and nice and we send a lot voice messages and he sends me pics of his apartment and how he pictures my dog in there, and jokes about my dress hanging in his bathroom and kept our grocery list and sent me picture saying (I am kinda sentimental) and I was surprised he didnt throw it away. So he is really into me I think. He is a wonderful human being and there are no words to describe how happy I am that I found him. He brought the light to my life and I want to make him happy too because he deserves it.
He can call me multiple times of the day and after one hour of silence he calls me again, during home duties or driving or anywhere. Updates me with pictures and stuff.
What is your opinion?
I don't know why his ex is calling (he said once that she wants to borrow money that she never gives back) but considering she called when I was there, I dont know how often she calls.
He claims he won't get back with her.
But..if she had someone, I dont think she would call her ex boyfriend still.
I AM currently stressed that when I will stay at his place, she will call and it would ruin my mood.
Best thing would be answering the call and her hearing my feminine voice but I…I kinda dont want to get involved since I AM not his girlfriend yet.
Even though we act like a couple.
I am worried about it even though he says she only "calls sometimes". Maybe he is casual with that contact and picks up sometimes since there is no connection from his side, its not a big deal to him?
Also, they are not seeing each other- he lives abroad.
As I said, he puts a lot of energy into contact with me even though we are long distance. His family and friends know about me, he told them.
Any advice?
TLDR; The guy(36m) Im(25f) dating has ex calling him