I feel like this is one of those unspoken dating landmines. No one sets a clear number, but everyone has a number in their head. And somehow you’re supposed to magically land on the same one without talking about it.
I saw a holiday dating blog that shared how much people plan to spend on their partner this season. The averages were higher than I expected and a lot of people admitted they felt pressure to spend beyond their comfort zone. What really got me was how divided people were on what counts as a red flag some think overspending is the issue others think not spending enough is.
That tension feels so real. One person thinks they’re being thoughtful and reasonable, the other reads it as low effort. Or someone goes big, and instead of excitement it creates guilt or awkwardness. Suddenly it’s not about the gift anymore, it’s about what the gift means. The takeaway for me wasn’t spend more or spend less it was that the holidays turn money into a proxy for effort, commitment, and expectations. If those aren’t aligned December just exposes it fast. Do you set a rough spend limit when you’re dating?