Hi. I, (29, F) and my partner (28, F) have been together for 6 years. We bond over many activities including playing Call of Duty Mobile. We had a lot of fun playing that but we also had many fights over it too. I know a lot of people would have suggested that we stop playing together but that is not an option for us because playing codm is one of my partner’s most favorite hobbies. I value that a lot because it makes her happy.

However, it has always been difficult to play with her especially lately. I personally think even if it’s something she enjoys that much, it’s still just a game and it will never be more important than our relationship as a whole. We literally just had a fight over this game because

  1. I couldn’t tell bots and real players apart sometimes so I end up snatching her k*ll score because i was trying to help

  2. I lose focus sometimes because I either am sh**ting other enemies or just freaking out so I couldn’t hear her when she locates our enemies or just simply asking for help so I end up being too slow many times

It took her explaining to me a few times before i realized it was all my fault. I got defensive at first too because I thought I was doing my best and even just simply looking out for her. I didn’t mean to snatch those bot k*lls. And she just got angrier and angrier. I realized my mistakes and apologized a few times along with promising to try harder. But she was still so angry. Like sooo angry.

I guess what i’m asking is this normal for u guys? I know what I did was annoying but was it so bad? Because it really hurt my feelings when shes angry. And i physically cant understand how a person can be so mad, so angry at someone they love. I’m not made like that. I forgive very easily. All the time. I just don’t understand. Please help.

TLDR: Is it normal to get very angry at your partner over a game? it is your partner’s fault but is it normal or am i just overly sensitive/defensive?


9 comments

  1. No, I don’t consider this normal. Is she like this in other situations or is it “just” COD?

  2. I was in this situation a few years ago. My bf at the time even motioned to get physical by throwing his phone towards me whenever we lost a game. This was never normal, this will never be normal.

    You can be frustrated with your partner if you lose a game, but there are better ways to handle that emotion.

  3. Try asking the same question in your post title without the last three words and see how you feel about it.

    You already know it isn’t. What do you want from us?

  4. I know you said that’s not an option, but literally tell her you won’t play unless she learns to regulate her emotions? One thing is to point out your mistakes, but she shouldn’t be angry with you over a game.

    I also think it’s worth asking yourself if you are ok with the way she expresses her anger. Does she simply tell you she is angry, or will she raise her voice, call you names etc? Because that’s definitely not ok.

  6. My ex once suddenly claimed he didn’t like holding hands (MONTHS after we started dating btw). It was news to me and it stung because we were out on a walk and he pulled his hand away from me when I went to hold it like usual.

    You know what happened *right* before that walk?

    He lost a League of Legends match.

    I regret not leaving at that time. He let me down a number of times and I stayed too long because I thought we could make it work, but I know better now.

    We broke up in 2017 and I haven’t dated since. Turns out I like being single and not having to worry if my partner is going to get mad or witholding affection for no reason.

  7. It’s not normal. I would suggest stop playing COD with her until you find a solution, cause it doesn’t worth it if everything else goes well between you both

  8. This… isn’t normal.

    Could you find a middle ground? Play a few matches of TDM and then play a few matches of (other game mode you’re decent at)?

    Would she be open to play a co-op game maybe?

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