Hi everyone, I’m an 18M and my girlfriend is 18F. We’ve been dating for about 1 year and 2 months, and this is the first serious relationship for both of us. We are also each other’s first everything.
The relationship was great at first, but around 8 months in things changed. During arguments, she became aggressive toward me. She has put her hands on me, wished death on me and my family multiple times, and often becomes very rude and cold when we fight.
Recently, I told her that I don’t want to be in the relationship anymore because of what happened and because I don’t think I can forgive her. She reacted very differently than usual — she cried, apologized, and promised she would change. She said all she wanted was my forgiveness.
Fast forward two weeks later, and I still don’t feel anything for her. I feel like I’m forcing myself to stay because her mental health is very bad, and she has serious family problems that I don’t want to go into detail about. She’s told me I’m basically the only person she can talk to.
I feel extremely guilty about wanting to leave her when she’s in such a fragile mental state, and I’m scared that breaking up with her will make things much worse for her. At the same time, I know I’m unhappy and don’t feel safe or emotionally connected anymore.
My question is: How do I break up with someone when I’m afraid their mental health will decline or that they might hurt themselves, while also protecting myself and doing what’s best for me?
TL;DR: I (18M) want to break up with my girlfriend (18F) of 1 year and 2 months due to emotional and physical abuse, but I’m scared her mental health will get worse or she might hurt herself if I leave.