For context, I’m 24F, he’s 25M. We’ve been partners for 4 years, lived together for 3. We have seen highs and lows of each other and been there for each other through it all, he is a rock for me, I may even be mildly codependent on the man.
I love him so much. But as of the last few months, I feel my spark for him dwindling. We had a pretty bad argument a month or two ago about marriage, it’s something I’ve talked about the entire time we’ve been together. We’ve always agreed we want marriage out of this relationship.
When I asked him last month if he’d ever considered a proposal or marriage to me and what it would look like, he said without hesitation, “no.” I asked him why not, and he said “I’m just not ready.” And I of course asked him why, which he simply told me he doesn’t know, he just wants to be in a better place. Understandable, but we are in a good place already. We don’t need to be perfect to be family. We have good jobs, good friends, good finances, we’re not rich and don’t have incredible savings or anything but we’re not hurting badly. I just, in my heart of hearts, want to know that he loves me enough to marry me, and isn’t just waiting for perfection and for the picture perfect life. That won’t ever come exactly the way he envisions it- that’s the reality of life- the point of marriage! I want to build that with him as my husband. I just want the commitment and I’ve explained this to him with very little response in return or real care. I just don’t know whether I should stay or go.
TL;DR: Do I wait forever for him to feel that the time is right whilst he spends his days working and gaming without ambition, without building, without trying to get to that “perfect” place he’s waiting for? I feel that I know the answer but I just don’t want to let this go. I love him so so much. Has anyone been through this? Any advice for a young gal that just wants her forever love?