I’m not even sure where to post this but I need help.
So my husband (31 M) and I (30 F) have a 3yo boy and an almost 5mo girl. We’ve been married 5 years and dating for 9 years. Honestly since day 1 of having kids we’ve had different parenting styles. I do quite a lot of reading, gathering info from online sources, reading real life experiences and such on how to discipline specifically. My husband, he just goes with how he feels. My son is a hitter and yeller. He will hit us, yell in our faces. I think he’s gotten better but he’s been doing it since about 2yo. My husband thinks corporal punishment is best (ie a hand smack for a hit) while I’m so against that. i will do time out, tell him not to kick/hit, think gentle parenting. I try not to stick my head into when my husband disciplines but when I do, he always says “I know you’ll always choose the kids over me”. I have tried talking to him, showing him articles, telling him how I feel but when I hear my son upset and see how he reacts to his dad’s punishment, it breaks me. I don’t want to keep arguing with my husband but I also don’t want to mess up our kids.
TL;DR: issues with husband vs my discipline leading to arguments and my husband feeling I’m choosing kids over him.
My questions are
1) is there any way to fix this? Do I just let my husband do his thing?
2) Any advice on marriage for after kids?