I'm not quite sure if it's rape or what bcuz my friend said it's kind of my fault I was at his house anyways, but My boyfriend said that he was going to try something and made me bend over. Apparently he wanted to try anal sex on me I told him no and we should skip that part he said no you'll get used to it and he demanded I should turn around he tried once I told him to stop as I was going through so much pain he said there's nothing U probably need more lubricant and then I asked him again to stop because it's hurting me so much until accidental stool came out and he was "disgusted" I told him I told you to stop multiple times he said that I should've been persistent about stopping and that it's my fault. Now he's not talking to me and that was five days ago and I'm still going through so much pain down there and even while being on the toilet or even water touching it and Im also bleeding heavily. Is talking to him about it the best to happen rn? and is it concerning to the point that I need to visit a doctor?
33 comments
You were raped, you boundaries were crossed and go see the doctor
Police… immediately
Horrifying call the police and then get yourself to an ER- it may be too late for a rape kit but ask. Im sorry you are going through this!
Yes, visit the doctor. And the police station. You told him no, he kept going anyway.
Even if you agreed to try it and said stop after five minutes, him continuing is him assaulting and raping you.
Sweetie you need to see a doctor. And don’t worry about that mean boy anymore. Anytime you are bleeding or hurting down there it is important because you don’t know how bad it can be inside.
No means no, no matter the legal status or length of relationship!
Go to the cops. That is unfucking acceptable. That dude needs his ass beat.
Not your fault at all. Being at his house was not consenting to anal sex. Nor is saying “no” required, or even saying “no” more than once.
You need to see a doctor asap because you are injured.
Consider making a police report if you feel safe doing so. Contact a local rape crisis line for additional support and resources.
Don’t talk to him. He is a rapist. Your friend is also a moron and you probably shouldn’t talk to that person any more, either.
Oh my god, please report him. And get well soon.
I really hope you listen to everyone and go to the doctor. I’m so sorry, but that is rape.
You need to go to the hospital and report the rape. Just because you were there does not mean you “asked for it” in any way at all. He should be held accountable for why he did to you I would highly suggest reporting this to the police, but if you are bleeding you really need to see a doctor
Yes you need to get checked out medically and report him to the police – in that order. Your own health first, always.
If you tell someone no and they continue then yes it is rape and a crime. He should be held accountable, or he will continue to think this behaviour is acceptable.
Also your friend is not your friend, they are a victim blaming pos and part of the problem.
He’s a rapist. I’m not sure they’ll prosecute but he’s a rapist and I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this. I went through almost this exact same scenario seven years ago and because I didn’t go to a doctor soon after I’m still suffering with side effects and (probably) will for a long time.
Your friend is wrong, it was not your fault. Your boyfriend is wrong, one “no” was plenty.
Please don’t delay anymore, visit a doctor today if there is one open near you. If not, please visit the hospital. You do not /have/ to make a report if you don’t want to, they don’t /have/ to take a rape kit if you don’t want them to, but you owe it to yourself to take care of this before it gets any worse.
Please message me if you need to talk about anything.
Report him and get a better friend. It is not your fault.
Also, this “friend” isn’t a friend.
Go to the ER or urgent care and tell them exactly what you said here.
Everyone saying you need to report his ass and obviously dump him is correct. However I really need to add: drop your friend saying “it’s your fault” too. I’m dead serious.
You have to see a Dr – if there’s any tearing it could get infected because of the location – and in my opinion he isn’t worth talking to. He raped you, you should leave him
I am a sexual assault nurse. Sometimes the timeline for getting the kit done can be “bent”. Ask to have the kit done anyways. Research supports that evidence may be present past 5 days. Please reach out if you’d like more info. Also, the bleeding and pain not subsiding is very concerning. I’m sorry…your history certainly details sexual assault.
Yes, you need to see a doctor. If you’re bleeding it could get infected. Go to a Doctor now and tell them what happened.
My love, please go and see a doctor and maybe the police. Anal trauma during nonconsensual anal sex is real, uncomfortable and can cause problems down the line.
I think you should leave him, this isn’t a once off thing for men like this
Break up with him immedietely. From what you described in your other posts and comments he’s litterally a predator and a abuser aswell. Also yes he 100% raped you, dump that horrfic rapist apologist friend too.
Looking through your post history, this guy is a predator. It is not your fault at all, please go to the ER and let them know your situation. I am so sorry you had to experience this
Your friend sucks and your boyfriend raped you. You definitely need to see a doctor asap. Please report him and drop both him and your friend!
Go to the hospital RIGHT NOW!
Yes he did rape you. You didn’t want anal sex. You need to go to the ER immediately. You’re heavily bleeding because he rammed his dick inside you repeatedly. Your friend is a rape apologist. Drop them immediately.
ETA: it’s been five days. That’s how serious this is and why you need to go to the ER. Tell them everything. Do not cover for that rapist.
ETA2: According to your comment history, you’re from a country where if you end up pregnant outside of marriage, the consequences are really bad. Going to the Police might not be an option.
Nothing about this is ok or your fault. The “friend” saying it’s your fault is NOT a true friend at all. How is it your fault just because you were at his house? Being at someone your supposed to be able to trust’s house is NOT a valid reason for them to disrespect your boundaries and rape you.
If he was interested in trying anal play, he should have ASKED YOU what your thoughts on that subject were. He shouldn’t have just tried it anyhow. He should have asked if you would be ok with trying something like that. If you said no, he should have dropped it and let it go. Not everyone is interested in that and that’s ok.
Everything about this was rape AND victim-blaming. The first time you said no, he just said no and that you’ll get used to it. What the actual hell?! That’s a clear violation of your trust, feelings and boundaries and that alone makes everything that happened after RAPE. You said no. He just said you’ll get used to it. Absolutely NOT ok! You continued to tell him no and try to get him to stop. He refused. That’s rape. The second you said stop/no, that should have been the end of it. It doesn’t matter what HE thinks. If you are not comfortable in any way and you say no or stop, that’s it. All bets are off. A respectful and caring partner would immediately listen to you and stop.
The only reason he stopped was because he saw some poop and got offended and grossed out. That’s interesting. He wanted to force anal on you… yet got offended when poop came out? Lmao! What a man child. What did he expect to happen? It was unplanned, unexpected anal without preparation. Does he not know that’s sort of where you FIND poop? If he didn’t want to mess with the potential of poop, he should have left your butt alone instead of forcing you into anal.
You absolutely need to go to a doctor. And tell them EXACTLY what happened without lying or trying to defend his inexcusable behavior. He raped you. Plain and simple. Go to the nearest ER and tell them this. Tell them your NOW-EX boyfriend (yes, he needs to become your ex like NOW) raped you anally. Let them know what happened and what day/around the time. Let them know exactly what symptoms you are having (the pain, the bleeding, etc.). You should absolutely not be having “heavy bleeding”, especially 5 days later. That is the sign of a major problem!
And as mentioned above, BREAK UP WITH THIS JERK! This is NOT the type of person you want to be around. You deserve much better, OP. This is not a good boyfriend whatsoever. This is an abusive jerk. This type of behavior is a sign of his true personality. Things will not change or get better. If anything, it’ll just continue to get worse if you stay and he’ll likely abuse you more than once and in other ways. Break up with him. If you are worried about what he may do when you leave, create a safety plan. Talk to a trusted adult – your parents, a sibling, another family member you can trust, a good friend (who won’t victim-blame you like the “friend” you mentioned in this post did), etc. Tell them what happened and tell them you want to leave. Go to the police and file a report. Seek help from a shelter. The hospital can help connect you with resources for rape victims/survivors. If you and this guy live together, LEAVE. Contact a trusted family member or even the police and let them know you want to leave and are concerned about removing your items. They will help you.
Good luck to you and I am so sorry this happened to you. Remember, it IS NOT your fault!
“It’s kind of your fault because you were at your boyfriend’s house” is fucking insane
You were raped. Make a police report and please for the love of all that is holy, break up and do NOT get back together with him.
And your friend is an idiot.
PLEASE go to a doctor, it sounds like he ripped you open down there and you cna get an infection. That was very clearly rape.
Step 1: dump him
It was not consentual at all
PS; coming from a 23M
Not your fault. He is a rapist. The other person is not your friend. Go to a doctor. File a police report. Block all of them. Change your locks.