My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 1/2 years. Each year we make holiday plans, I spend my time divided between my family and kids and his family. Each holiday he ends up acting agitated and saying he has anxiety and he can’t handle anything. He yells at me and starts arguments and tells me I’m insensitive to his feelings and I just don’t understand. He also acts like this for birthdays and other family get togethers. The thing that bothers me most is his actions and words remind me of how my abusive ex husband treated me. Every time he acts like this it makes me cry. His behavior triggers my anxiety. The holidays aren’t exactly easy for me either but I try my best to make them good for my kids and loved ones. Am i being an ahole?