I met a person and after chatting for over 3 months he opened up about his past. He was supportive of my career and also good looking guy. But the problem of his alcohol consumption, drug consumption and his underlying love for his ex drove me away. A month has almost passed but still I crave to be with him but I don’t that he is not a healthy partner that I deserve at moment. Especially since his behaviour from his past shows that he makes irresponsible decisions and he is still in awe with his ex.
They a inter-religion couple scenario where they lived together for 2 years and broke up when they went LDR. The guy refuses to move on from her emotionally and calls every irresponsible decision “love”. Moving in secretly within months with a girl he met on dating app at 22, signing a love contract that she wrote in which she laid out how he is supposed to her, be her chauffeur etc, unprotected sex, him being insecure for going out with her friends all the time instead of him, planning to leave his family to marry her in future etc all in name of “love” and still standing up for her while she is long gone. He has treated his next partners shitty way because of one relationship not panning out. People don’t consider the baggage that they will onto next relationships while “living in present”. He has defended her love too many times in front of me when I simply pointed out that moving with a random guy is doom for girl’s future in our country and risking pregnancy is not good. I even got an ick from him that his parents stayed in same city and yet he took the risks to live with her secretly. Their friends were aware of this situation too and were sure at 23 that they would settle down together. This all information seemed too risky for me to continue dating him.
Also he was so fast with her but with me he wouldn’t even plan a meet in 3 months even though I asked him out and was ready to meet mid way.