For some time now I’ve been seeing a new guy who is „quite” experienced sexually. I’ve always been open when it comes to sharing experiences, and hearing about him talking about fucking another girl turns me on like A LOT.
Recently, though, I learned more details about one of the girls he used to see – he told me how one of his previous girlfriends came so hard she started squirting at some point (first time in her life) and after that every sex they had made her literally shiver or how they had to do that standing up because the floor was flooded and that was a massive turn-on for him – and it unexpectedly started affecting me. The more I think about it, the more insecure I feel. Even though I know I’m not passive in bed and I have my own „strengths”, I’ve started worrying that sex with me might seem ordinary or “vanilla” in comparison.
On top of that, I don’t orgasm from penetration, and I’m afraid this might never change, which makes me feel even worse. For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m not good enough sexually. Even though he has never made me feel this way directly and literally tells me he adores me, I can’t shake the feeling that others were somehow better.
It literally got to the point where, when he’s going down on me, I shut down and pull him back because I feel like I can’t enjoy it the way I „should” and I’m embarrassed because of that.
Do you have any advice on how to rebuild confidence and focus on pleasure during sex instead of constantly worrying that I’m boring or not enough?