I 46M have been with my wife 49F for 18 years. Most of the time she is great and I love her and would never leave her but more than I’d like to admit, she treats me horribly and I’ve given up on trying to explain to her that she’s being disrespectful and mean to me. Here’s an example that just happened.
She asked that I purchase orange juice for tomorrow morning since family will be over. She didn’t tell me which orange juice to buy but I know what her favorite orange juice it. She likes one specific orange juice that can only be purchased from one store. Both her and I have been working all day (we are business owners so we always work) and she is also running errands to prepared for tomorrow. When I finished work, I looked up the store to get the orange juice and they were closing early for Christmas Eve. I would not make it there before they closed. Because I couldn’t get the orange juice she likes, I went to a different store we shop at regularly and purchased a different orange juice. On the way back home she called and she was on the speakers in the car. My daughter [12] was with me and immediately spoke over me to tell my wife, her mom, that I bought different orange juice. My daughter likes the same orange juice. My wife was silent for a minute and then got upset. I let my wife talk for a couple minutes about being upset. When she was done, I explained that the other store was closed. This explanation upset her more and she was cutting me off and raising her voice…..she said she wasn’t upset. She also said that she would have bought my favorite orange juice which I’m guessing is a way to try and make me feel guilty. After five minutes and her saying, “I don’t want to argue with you”. I said, “We should end this call then” and I hung up.
Im tired of situations like this. It makes me feel like the orange juice is more important than me. She also yells at me in-front of our daughter and our daughter is beginning to show signs that she believes it’s ok to be rough with me. I do not want my daughter to think this is ok. I have had countless conversations about this with my wife but she either doesn’t care, or doesn’t think I deserve to be treated better.
I’m not perfect but we have built an amazing life together besides weekly issues like this. We both work hard for the family and we do very well financially but have had some difficult times this last year. I wish I could show her how she treats me and get her to treat me with respect, or at least not yell at me in-front of our daughter. Thank you in advance. How can I get her to understand?