How do I (27M) move on with the fact that I’ve emotionally cheated on my GF (27F)?
Yes, that’s what happened, and even though there was no physical contact whatsoever I feel like I’ve now become something I’ve despised my whole life.
Or have I? Is this really cheating?
Long story short, some time ago I started talking to an engaged coworker of mine, nothing serious. A few weeks in and we’ve ended up taking A LOT about literally everything, sharing some intimate details of our lives, meeting in secrecy just to have a coffee and talk. There was never any romantic thing going on whatsoever, but we both hid it from our partners, there’s no point in denying that, as well as admitting that I really like her and I suppose she likes me.
I love my girlfriend (together for 2 years), I do care about her and I feel like an absolute di\\\*khead for doing that. I was thinking on why am I doing this and I feel like I just don’t feel understood in my relationship when it comes to… life? My girlfriend has always avoided many topics, especially deep ones as they make her sad, cry and she just hates talking about them. I on the other hand mainly talk about such things, love theoretizing about everything, I just enjoy talking about something more that what I’d like to eat or where I’d like to go. This sh\\\*t sounds cruel but I did come to this realization after a long time – my girlfriend literally can’t talk about anything other than what she would like to do, have or eat. Anything else is too hard for her and makes her cry or starts a mood swing.
I knew my girlfriend is like that, it’s not her fault nor have I ever expected her to change. There’s absolutely nothing wrong about her other than being very, very sensitive and emotional which makes her everyday life hard – this is also what keeps her from being able to talk about anything serious as she starts breaking into tears, as “life’s too hard for her”. I talked to her about this many times for over a year, she refused going into therapy. I suggested going together, her and me, but her approach is (“I know it’s hard for me and you, but therapy requires work and I don’t want to put all my energy into something that scares me”). I sort of gave up after hearing that.
I don’t consider this an excuse, it’s simply the reason, not a way of justification. I had the same done to me twice in the past by girls. I would rather not know, to be honest. That’s why I want advice.
I guess I’ve reached a breaking point where… well I’m not even sure what the \\\* am I doing with my life and how to proceed from here. I’m meeting an engaged woman for late night drives and talks while mine nor her partner have any clue what’s going on.
I’m unsure on how to proceed and what to do about this entire situation.
tl;dr – I met and started talking with engaged coworker. This has turned into regular conversations and meetups that made me realize the issues I have in my current relationship aren’t as minor as I have thought.