Hey,
I (24M) am often described as a "nice guy". It's not a bad thing in itself, but I'm getting more and more self-conscious about it, in relationships of all kinds.
Objectively, I don't think I'm doing too bad in terms of social skills. I have quite a lot of good friends, 5 of which I consider close, and I'm part of 2 friends group which I often see. But what is true is that I am often seen as the cute, endearing, safe, shy friend. I'm gay so maybe that adds a layer to all of this.
Sometimes it creates a lot of self-doubt. I have noticed patterns I'm not managing to change : I smile or laugh a lot, I fill silences quickly, I'm not very witty. I can be fun, in the sense I have a lot of funny anecdotes to share, that I'm warm, that I laugh easily. But I also feel like people, including guys I date, put me in a box I don't like : the nice, harmless, not very witty guy.
I don't want to stop being warm and kind. But I wish I was more confident in that warmth and kindness, and that I was taken more seriously. Once again, I sometimes wonder if me being gay adds a layer to that.
How can I change that ? How to move from being the "nice guy" to a more confident version of myself that is not boxed in ?