As the title states I’m trying to navigate shared spaces with a guy I ‘dated’ back in Sept/ earlyOctober and things have gotten super weird.
TL;DR: Guy I VERY briefly dated 2 months ago has mutual friends and shared spaces. He did ghost me, and I held him accountable by asking for clarity, but nothing really dramatic happened. He’s took a break from shared spaces but is showing up again, which I was great with. However, he’s now pretending I don’t exist but STILL shows up and even sitting near me sometimes but literally I could be a ghost. It’s making it awkward for the whole group. I want to talk to him about it, but that’s not an option because he literally won’t acknowledge me. It’s dressing me out and I need advice on what to do next. I don’t want to leave my whole social group because of this.
BACKGROUND SEQUENCE OF EVENTS: I say ‘date’ because we met through mutual friends one night, went on a brief run date he invited me too, and then he invited me to coffee but we pivoted to my friend’s party. We talked after for hours and made out a bit but pretty PG-13. It felt great and thought we had an amazing connection. He asked me out again that night and I said yes. He sent me something on social the next day and I messaged him saying I had a great time. Didn’t hear from him so before our planned date reached out to confirm we were still on for the weekend. GHOSTED.
A few days later Reached out before a mutual friend’s thing, letting him know it was ok if he was no longer interested, but Id appreciate him letting me know and I was going to John’s. (I mainly did this because I didn’t want awkwardness w/ our friends or I would have let it go). He (surprisingly) replied with a LONG text about how I didn’t misread anything but he’s been accepted to a new grad program and has been thinking things through (honestly a little dramatic for our 2 dates). I did clarify asking if we miscommunicated on travel and if that was keeping us from exploring this further. But he came back with a clearer no saying he wasn’t ready for a relationship (which btw I didn’t ask for). Disappointed but I dropped it and didn’t communicate further.
CURRENT DAY: after October, he dropped back from all mutual friend activities. Didn’t see him at all, though I think there were a few things where either him or I was just out for vacay or whatever so missed each other. I didn’t think much of it. It’s now DECEMBER, and so saw him for the first time randomly in a bar. He seemed uncomfortable (which I get because he rejected me and we hadn’t spoken) so I went up and said a quick hello, that it was good to see him, and let him know I needed to go find my friends. I saw him come to find me at the back bar later (he was clearly searching for me) but he saw me with someone new (I am dating someone now but it wouldn’t be particularly clear from that moment), we locked eyes, and then he immediately left. It was an uncomfy vibe from him.
Texted him on my way home saying it was good to see him and we were still doing run club with Clarissa’s crew if he ever wanted to join. I was truly happy to see him and thought this would test things. I messaged our mutual friend John as well that I was happy to have him there (preemptively knowing he might be looking out for me if he did decided to come). He reads my text but never replies but DOES show up. Ok. So before our run I say hey guys and try to include him in group convo. He won’t look at me or answer the Q I direct his way. I see the rest of the crew get a little uncomfortable so I switch topics and we start our run but he leaves like 5 minutes into it. I messaged him saying I was ok and glad to see him out. No response. Maybe I’m blocked?
BIGGER PROBLEM: Obviously at this point he doesn’t want to be messaged. BUT the problem is he is now showing up to all our group events, but refusing to talk to me even in a group convo. Like doesn’t say hi, doesn’t look me in the eye, pretends I don’t exist AT ALL. I’ve cut back my efforts to be friendly, always trying to make sure there’s some space between us, but he’s always right THERE. At this point it’s effecting our friends. People have told me there’s an uncomfy vibe from him and asked me if I’m ok? It’s honestly beginning to stress me out because I can’t talk to him about the issues (he’s hellbent just ignore me) and it’s now effecting my safe spaces and social environments.
So WHAT DO I DO? But also WHY IS HE ACTING THIS WAY? AM I MISSING SOMETHING?