My wife and I are each other’s only ever partners but have always had some trouble in bed and I’ve always thought it was my fault but I’m starting to consider it could be hers…
She never wants me to do oral because she “feels dirty” so foreplay for getting her wet enough for PIV takes forever because I can only do it by touching/rubbing, she’s too shy to touch herself in front of me, she’s opposed to using lube, she’s not really into porn so that’s not a way to get her started either, she only ever wants missionary, she doesn’t like doggy or reverse cowgirl because she “stinks” so I have to push her to do those, only cowgirl for a minute or two because she says her legs get sore fast, and no moaning because she’s embarrassed about it.
A lot of her shyness just comes from her thinking she “doesn’t look good” even though I tell her every day how sexy I think she is. Also, as kinky and dirty minded as I am, apart from being shy, she also just admits she’s very vanilla so I’ve had to really nudge her to ever try any kind of sexy outfits, which ended up just making her awkward during sex (I’m talking lingerie and skirts, not full blown cosplays), so we don’t do that any more, and dirty talk from her is non-existent.
As much as I would want her to be a little more intense in bed, she basically just wants to lay back and have me do everything. The funny thing is that she pushes for sex a lot and honestly sometimes it’s harder for me to be enthusiastic about it. I’ve tried just lowering my expectations about sex but when I meet her at her level, I honestly feel like there has to be more to sex than that. I’m not expecting some explosive sex sessions but me being able to do something about the dryness at least would be nice.