I (29F) cannot bring myself to apologize to my mother (65F)
I can’t bring myself to apologize to my mother, even though I know I was wrong. For context my mother grew up poor and later received inheritance money. Once she experienced what it was like to have money, everything changed. After she lost most of it buying us a house, she became completely different. It feels like she became addicted to money. All she thinks about now is how to get more so she can live lavishly again.
It reached a point where she asked me to sell my jewelry so I sold my own jewelry and gave her the money because I believed she truly needed it. Instead, she spent it on things that did not matter. That just left me feeling bitter and taken advantage of. Money seems to be the center of her life.
Recently, she reconnected with her estranged brother, and it seems to me that she only did so because of money. She speaks badly about him behind his back and clearly does not care about him the way she pretends to. She borrowed money from him and allows him to buy her things. He does this because he genuinely wants a relationship with her, while I know she does not feel the same. Watching her use him really bothered me.
I confronted her and told her to stop, but she tried to avoid the conversation. Out of frustration, I said, “I hope you got the message.” That sentence upset her greatly. She involved my siblings and told them to pressure me into apologizing. I admit that what I said was disrespectful, and I know why it hurt her. However, I feel overwhelmed by resentment. She has never apologized to me when she has done something wrong and has often made me feel like the bad guy instead.
This time, I know I was wrong, but I still can’t bring myself to apologize. My siblings continue to pressure me, and I feel stuck. I don’t know what to do. Part of me says apologize and let get it over with and the other refuses to do it. What other way is there where none of us gets hurt?