Throwaway account because my real one has too much identifying information.
I am currently studying in the tech field. Just like any other college friendships, mine started during the first year. At first, everything seemed fine. We were going out, doing various legal activities, etc.
Going into college, did I want to go into the tech field? No. Was I forced to? By family, no. But the unspoken pressure to be in a somewhat traditional field got to me and now I kinda regret being in this field. If there were zero pressure or anything like that, I would be an artist. I have wanted to be an artist since I was a kid and I never stopped wanting to be one since.
Some time after starting college, the realization that I didn't want to be in the tech field started to weigh in on me. This was around the time I started to actually work on my art. And what I've noticed (at least from my perspective) is that I felt like I was being less and less seen in the friend group.
For instance, the group would have pieces of lore that everyone knows but me and they'll casually talk about it like it's common knowledge to the group. Another thing I've noticed is that I tend to initiate nearly all my interactions with them, and they'll only initiate interactions with me when they need something such as homework. And occasionally, I would ask a question in our group chat, and most of the questions I ask are yes-or-no questions related to our classes and whatnot. Yet, when I ask them, I always get left on read by the entire group.
As a result, I've started to slowly dial back my interactions with them. I stopped sending anything to the group chat, I started to make my hangouts with them as little as possible, I started to make my interactions with them outside of school to be only school-related, among many others while I work on my art when I'm not at school.
Now, I feel conflicted if they're actually my friends (or good friends at that) and I actually am being ignored whether on purpose or not, or if I'm being overdramatic or delusional and I'm pushing them away.
So, Reddit, am I being overdramatic, or are these signs of a one-sided friendship?
TLDR: I feel ignored and unnoticed in my friend group and I feel conflicted on whether or not they're really my friends.
Possible questions you might ask:
1. Do they know you want to be an artist? No.
2. Do you plan to tell them you want to be an artist? Maybe, but I'm leaning more towards no.
3. Have you tried talking to them about it? No because I don't want to make things awkward since we still have to see each other for the foreseeable future.