I (37 F ) am 11 month PP the connection between my husband (41 M) and I are very much lacking. We unfortunately have a history of this. I feel as though once he got me the effort has dwindled and even more so after baby boy came earthside. I have lost the spark to be physically intimate and have asked for him to be more emotionally tender and doting throughout the day as an effort to fore play. It’s has been extremely lacking due to babies needs but also he has been much busier in his line of work. No real effort on his part in regards to connecting with me in a way that reaches my heart and mind. I’m at a loss for words. I have told him in specific detail what I would like in order for him to enter in a physical way with him. For example the other night the kids were sleeping and it’s late I asked if he would like to have sex in the guest room . He was very eager and excited . I slipped into a dainty Lacey lingerie teddy by Adore Me that I got online to hopefully motivate him to independently have that urge to be a protecting doting charmer. We lay in bed kissing and touching and I initiated pillow talk by discussing how much fun I had with him and the kids at a holiday light showing of Imaginarium. He expressed how fun he liked it and I was so happy he actually expressed something positive! I then asked what was his favorite part and he said “I don’t want to talk, let’s keep kissing. It turned me off instantly and what I desired most fell before my eyes . I no longer wanted to be physically intimate because once again he just wanted to have sex without my desires being met. I just felt so empty and from there I feel a bit closed off and exhausted from trying so hard on an empty cup. I feel unfulfilled and the lack of desire is gone. How do I reach my husband on a more emotionally intimate way? I desires him brushing my hair off my shoulders with a lock of love in his eyes , or a desire that says “I thought of you and this reminded me of you” kind of gesture, or him coming behind me and just placing a gentle kiss on my forehead or behind on my neck or placing a kiss on my hand nothing sexual but rather this energy of passion. How do I get him to open up his heart? I say good morning to him every day and I sometimes come to his home office sitting next to him just enjoying his presence. I make him breakfast when he says he doesn’t want any or when he says he feels sick I get the meds out or he says his leg hurts from his runs or any of that I get the massage gun out. I’m definitely more thoughtful then he is but during this PP I’m feeling extra lovey dovey and I need him to reciprocate because I’m feeling pretty empty right now 😢