I 38/M and my wife 33/F are about to celebrate our daughter’s first birthday. We have been together over 8 years and married for 3.
Today we were at her work Christmas party and right as we both left her brother had dropped his Christmas bonus somewhere at the venue.
My wife went to help him find it as i went home to go get our daughter ready for bed. She said she will be home in time to put her to bed ( tonight was her night) 2 hours pass so I check in. They found it and are having a celebration beer ….. i asked her when she would be home, no response…dead phone.
I am beyond frustrated now and at my wits end.
This year she had left me hanging and pulling all nighters multiple times. No warning, no heads up ….the pattern, her brother and alcohol. She promised to change and recognized she had a problem and that she was using me to stay out.
We just got on a really good page yesterday and here we are again….. i have given her grace, patience, options and just feel manipulated an used. I am not perfect by any means but you can always count on me. I choose my family without any hesitation and want the same in return.
I am not sure how to approach this. I need to be my wife’s priority, our daughter needs to be her priority, I do not want her drinking anymore. She has an issue if she wants to admit it or not.
Do you give an ultimatum?
Additional info that may help.
– she has had vacations, time with friends, massages etc….. as long as she communicated in happy to help.
– I am very much involved in our tasks, duties, and our daughter.
– she is generally a great mother
– i had offered to go to couples therapy, I asked her to find a therapist thought…. She brushed the idea off.
– I want to stay married. I’m just tired of the bs.
– sorry for the book.