Hi everyone. My husband and i have been together for 8 years. He is 28 and i am 31. We have no kids (we haven't been able to since we started trying 2 years ago). When i tell you i have the perfect most peaceful life and angelic husband, i mean it. For that reason, it is very hard for me to believe that he would cross a line that should never be crossed.
I saw a post on Tik Tok advising to check if your husbands have telegram. So, this week when he was asleep, i got his phone just for fun to see what i could find.
I checked his X (Twitter). He has a second account there, where all his bookmarks, likes and reposts are pictures of school girls with very young faces and a large teddy bear clipart on the side of the picture. Sometimes instead of teddy bear clipart, there are spongebob and patrick cliparts. I clicked on the telegram link of one of these posts and it took me to telegram (which he has installed on his phone)… there were 10+ snippets of cp. Their private parts were covered with star cliparts. All different children. All unfortunately engaging in different things. Most looked as young as 5. It also said "preview" or "purchase" with different payment methods including shopepay. In fact, many of the posts he likes on X have 5 different links to shopepay. But when i click on those posts it looks like a regular retail website. His reposts are all as early as 4 days ago and as old as 2023.
I was horrified and numb. I thought, is this really what i think it is? And was it really that easy? I try not to think about what i discovered. Of course, i did not click preview or any such thing. I love children. I've worked with children all of my 20s and my husband would even drop me off at schools, every day, when i was a substitute teacher for 2 years. I'm in denial since there is no hard evidence that he has downloaded or even purchased anything. Maybe he bookmarks the posts on reddit because he likes the pictures / videos of these young school girls. On the other hand, maybe he bookmarks these posts to follow the telegram link where he can make purchases.
Additionally In the Spring of this year, I found an Erome account on his phone, as well as an Omegle porn account, where his searches included "lolita", "2006", "teen", etc. And his likes were all very young looking girls. I thought, well he likes teen porn… nothing to worry too much about. Yes, I know what that sounds like. But we might all get a bit weird in our porn searches so i did not immediately judge him, considering he's a guy.
Additionally, if i just click on his Telegram app by itself, he has no previous chats, and does not belong to any groups. When i checked the settings, it showed this:
Storage Usage = Videos 56.9 MB, Photos 26.9 MB
Data Usage = Messages 41.6 MB, Videos 41 MB, Photos 22.3 MB
However everything on his telegram is empty. Should i continue to monitor this? Are there any savvy people that can tell me what i should check next? I didn't see anything suspicious on his main bank account. Thank you so much i am truly lost.
I've been stressing these past couple of days with the fact that i could very well become an older woman with kids, past my prime, having to start over because i found harder evidence.
I've also thought to myself, is hard evidence instant divorce for me? I'm just not sure what it would take for me to pull the string. I can't imagine my life without him and i've done all of my 20s with him. I think of my in laws, and extended family… the memories made… and how everything would be gone. It's truly unfathomable.
Thank you