I’m a healthy, fit married guy in my mid-30s with a few kids. My wife and I actually have a healthy sex life in terms of frequency, and there’s no infidelity, porn issues, or lack of attraction on my end.
The problem is that it’s become incredibly repetitive and boring. Same routine, same pacing, same outcome every single time. To the point where I now struggle to finish, not because of a physical issue, but because I’m mentally checked out.
What makes it harder is that my wife doesn’t really see or understand the problem, because she gets off. From her perspective, things are fine. From mine, it feels like going through the motions. When I try to explain the boredom, it comes across as criticism or dissatisfaction with her, which isn’t what I’m trying to say at all.
I’m frustrated, honestly. I’m in my 30s and can’t wrap my head around the idea that this is just what sex looks like forever. It feels shallow to complain about, but it’s very real and it’s starting to affect both of us.
Has anyone else gone through this? Is this normal in long-term marriages with kids? Did it change, or did you just learn to live with it?