Anyone else have perimenopausal wife and teen daughter?
December 20, 2025
Holy.
Mother.
Fuckin.
Shit.
Lord help me. I have gradually become more even keeled and at peace with myself from 30ish till now (48) but I live in a emotional hellscape.
I’ll make it, I understand, I am patient. But god damn.
27 comments
I’m divorced and have a son. None of that for me thanks.
Not quite a teen, but yeah.
Constant strife at the moment.
I know what you mean. I heard it was going to be bad, but damn, it’s next level. No daughter, though.
Avoid. Defer. Sudden errands out of the house. You can do this. Do not engage, eject
The days when you just want to go out for smokes and…
Try with two teen daughters that were 20 months apart and the wife who could get a hot flash while eating ice cream.
I became the neighborhood crazy lawn guy. Spent hours out there and came up with a million make work projects. Home Depot was never less than two hours. The garage was my sanctuary
Pretty sure it’s just beginning for my wife. Not looking forward to the next few years in that regard.
Yes, I do.
Married 20 years this last year, daughter 17, with a boyfriend (she’s over her gay stage now we think).
Wife is nuts but she was always a bit nutty anyway.
It’s tough but I’m 55 now so only another 20 years or so to go.
Right there with you. 🫠
It sucked azz!!!!!!!!!
Does your wife try to manage her symptoms?
My ex didn’t. She almost pushed me down the stairs and blamed her hormones. Said I had to deal with it because I don’t know what it’s like to live in her body.
Nah hormones or not, that’s not ok. I left her because of the domestic violence.
46 year old wife.
14 and 11 year old daughters.
Love them as we all get through life together.
Oh man. I have 3 daughters…….
Push through. It’s hard, but if she’s willing to talk and work together, you’ll come out better off when it’s done
Yes, two teen daughters, wife, female hampsters, and female dog.
Noo fun.
But you’ll live.
Get a striped shirt. You’re the referee between them that can’t make a good call. I’m in the same boat and it’s not great. She does apologize after the rampage but I don’t make eye contact or dare breathe until she’s out of sight. My daughter went off to college so there are times when I’m the only victim.
Good luck!
I’m 43 and I’m right there with you brother but I have TWO teenage daughters. I feel your pain.
My wife is in that age range and my daughter is 12, and son 17. It gets a little hectic. My wife was always crazy to begin with, and that getting worse is rough. She belongs in an institution.
My daughter is as sweet as could be, just the perfect child, but every so often a switch flips in her mind and it’s like demonic possession. It’s all good though; just the usual ups and downs.
Perimenopausal wife and three teenage daughters. I spend a lot of time in my shed and in my tractor. We have a lot of quality time, but when the emotions start to boil, I retreat. Love them all dearly…
At least your wife accepted and recognized it. Mine refused and decide she didn’t want to be married anymore
Yes. I’m in the same boat, brother.
Godspeed.
Edit: I’m pretty sure this was the reason men had so many fraternal organizations back in the day.
Elks, Eagles, I.O.O.F, etc, etc.
My only advice is be on your wife’s side ALWAYS in public / with the kids. If you need to discuss a disagreement do it later in private. If you need to throw yourself on the grenade do it, because if you can defend and reinforce your relationship with your wife she’ll be more successful wrangling the teens when they’re out of line.
I bribe teens with money. They’ll tolerate an afternoon out (and wife can have an afternoon home alone) if you take them someplace and give them some spending money. Teens LOVE spending money. I’d also cut them a deal that if they didn’t spend all of it, they’d get a percentage of what they didn’t spend added to their next outing which might have cooler stuff (teaching them about delayed gratification and not just spending to spend) and if they find something they really really want now, I negotiate a loan with a reasonable interest rate to be repaid with chores, from their allowance, or out of their next outing. I like to give their teen brains things to think about so they can try and “cheat the system” because their brains are wired to do that at this stage anyway, they may as well learn life skills.
Anyway, it doesn’t always work, but sometimes it does and there are nice memories AND a happier, less stressed wife who had a bit of a reset. If she had wine then heyyyyyyyy!
Menopause taught me that you can actually HEAR a dinner plate whiz past your head before exploding against the wall behind you.
That’s me all day, walking on egg shells around the house.
Good luck brother!
Yes, best advice i can give you.
Find a doctor who specialises in the topic and book an appointment for your wife.
That’s what I did and it’s been amazing, after having her hormone levels tested the doc said to my wife “your brain is screaming at your ovaries but they aren’t listening” and prescribed her with HRT.
It took a couple of months to work fully but the change was amazing.
My partner hits perimenapause at 35. Completely different human being ever since. I ended it at 39. Wish I had of done it earlier.
Im sympathetic, but untreated hormone issues don’t give someone a free pass to be an unbearable, nasty, self centred individual constantly.
27 comments
I’m divorced and have a son. None of that for me thanks.
Not quite a teen, but yeah.
Constant strife at the moment.
I know what you mean. I heard it was going to be bad, but damn, it’s next level. No daughter, though.
Avoid. Defer. Sudden errands out of the house. You can do this. Do not engage, eject
The days when you just want to go out for smokes and…
Try with two teen daughters that were 20 months apart and the wife who could get a hot flash while eating ice cream.
I became the neighborhood crazy lawn guy. Spent hours out there and came up with a million make work projects. Home Depot was never less than two hours. The garage was my sanctuary
Pretty sure it’s just beginning for my wife. Not looking forward to the next few years in that regard.
Yes, I do.
Married 20 years this last year, daughter 17, with a boyfriend (she’s over her gay stage now we think).
Wife is nuts but she was always a bit nutty anyway.
It’s tough but I’m 55 now so only another 20 years or so to go.
Right there with you. 🫠
It sucked azz!!!!!!!!!
Does your wife try to manage her symptoms?
My ex didn’t. She almost pushed me down the stairs and blamed her hormones. Said I had to deal with it because I don’t know what it’s like to live in her body.
Nah hormones or not, that’s not ok. I left her because of the domestic violence.
46 year old wife.
14 and 11 year old daughters.
Love them as we all get through life together.
Oh man. I have 3 daughters…….
Push through. It’s hard, but if she’s willing to talk and work together, you’ll come out better off when it’s done
Yes, two teen daughters, wife, female hampsters, and female dog.
Noo fun.
But you’ll live.
Get a striped shirt. You’re the referee between them that can’t make a good call. I’m in the same boat and it’s not great. She does apologize after the rampage but I don’t make eye contact or dare breathe until she’s out of sight. My daughter went off to college so there are times when I’m the only victim.
Good luck!
I’m 43 and I’m right there with you brother but I have TWO teenage daughters. I feel your pain.
My wife is in that age range and my daughter is 12, and son 17. It gets a little hectic. My wife was always crazy to begin with, and that getting worse is rough. She belongs in an institution.
My daughter is as sweet as could be, just the perfect child, but every so often a switch flips in her mind and it’s like demonic possession. It’s all good though; just the usual ups and downs.
Perimenopausal wife and three teenage daughters. I spend a lot of time in my shed and in my tractor. We have a lot of quality time, but when the emotions start to boil, I retreat. Love them all dearly…
At least your wife accepted and recognized it. Mine refused and decide she didn’t want to be married anymore
Yes. I’m in the same boat, brother.
Godspeed.
Edit: I’m pretty sure this was the reason men had so many fraternal organizations back in the day.
Elks, Eagles, I.O.O.F, etc, etc.
My only advice is be on your wife’s side ALWAYS in public / with the kids. If you need to discuss a disagreement do it later in private. If you need to throw yourself on the grenade do it, because if you can defend and reinforce your relationship with your wife she’ll be more successful wrangling the teens when they’re out of line.
I bribe teens with money. They’ll tolerate an afternoon out (and wife can have an afternoon home alone) if you take them someplace and give them some spending money. Teens LOVE spending money. I’d also cut them a deal that if they didn’t spend all of it, they’d get a percentage of what they didn’t spend added to their next outing which might have cooler stuff (teaching them about delayed gratification and not just spending to spend) and if they find something they really really want now, I negotiate a loan with a reasonable interest rate to be repaid with chores, from their allowance, or out of their next outing. I like to give their teen brains things to think about so they can try and “cheat the system” because their brains are wired to do that at this stage anyway, they may as well learn life skills.
Anyway, it doesn’t always work, but sometimes it does and there are nice memories AND a happier, less stressed wife who had a bit of a reset. If she had wine then heyyyyyyyy!
Menopause taught me that you can actually HEAR a dinner plate whiz past your head before exploding against the wall behind you.
That’s me all day, walking on egg shells around the house.
Good luck brother!
Yes, best advice i can give you.
Find a doctor who specialises in the topic and book an appointment for your wife.
That’s what I did and it’s been amazing, after having her hormone levels tested the doc said to my wife “your brain is screaming at your ovaries but they aren’t listening” and prescribed her with HRT.
It took a couple of months to work fully but the change was amazing.
My partner hits perimenapause at 35. Completely different human being ever since. I ended it at 39. Wish I had of done it earlier.
Im sympathetic, but untreated hormone issues don’t give someone a free pass to be an unbearable, nasty, self centred individual constantly.