For anyone who is turned off by a partner replying to texts quickly: the person may be clingy, but they also might just be a dopamine addict like myself.

When my phone goes off, my brain gets a burst of dopamine regardless of the notification or if I'm waiting for someone to message.

For example, when I shop at Walmart I have my receipt texted to me. When I am walking out of Walmart and I get a text, I instantly get excited. "OOOO, I wonder who is texting me?!"

It's Walmart

It's Walmart everytime

Despite this, 1-2 times a week I get excited and instantly check Walmart's text.

So when a partner (new or old) messages me I check the notification instantly, cause dopamine.

Once I've done that, I don't like to leave thing on my to-do list because checking things off to-do lists equals…

DOPAMINE

So for anyone one who gets an ick from someone replying quickly, keep in mind your SO/potential SO very well might get equally excited by a text from Walmart.

For anyone who is the same and wants to slow down their reply rate, delayed send on messages is your best friend. You get to send the message and get your dopamine right away while seemingly slowing down your reply rate.


14 comments

  2. I thought the biggest complaint people usually make was others not being responsive enough? I agree, I like communication from my romantic partner/potential, but I try not to stress them out by asking them to text me all the time or getting upset when they don’t. You gotta respect that people can be busy.

  3. My brother just another me… every time I get a message notification it’s immediate euphoria on the level I think heroin users seek… for like 1 second until i realize its a marketing text again

  4. I feel like we’re just making stuff up now…who is getting annoyed that someone they’re dating responds to texts too fast?? I feel like if I’m holding my phone and you text me — I’m just going to respond 😭🤦🏽‍♀️

  5. Do you ever leave a message unread? (Maybe u see the preview but intentionally don’t open it) And if so why? Does something specific trigger that behavior?

  6. This makes so much sense! I am that person. I respond right away unless I’m busy, and when I’m excited about what we’re talking about, I might even double text. I’ve been told before by friends that they don’t respond back to me right away because I’ve sent them more than one or two texts and they moan like I’ve sent them a thesis, but in reality its just a couple sentences total.

    And it’s not like I’m addicted to my phone. I think my average is like 4 hours a day which includes my bedtime scrolling or listening to music. Sometimes I put it on silent for a while so I’m not annoying people. 😔

    I just like getting texts, lol.

  9. I respond quickly to messages but it’s not for dopamine. I’m just a horrible and lazy texter. If I don’t respond as soon as I see it, odds are I won’t ever respond.

  11. I am a zero inbox girl, which means, I open/respond to all of my emails and text asap so I don’t have a growing number of unread messages. I just feel like it adds to my todo list and it’s a quick win to knock out by responding.

  12. I am like this too, i have to check every notification as soon as it comes in, even at times i shouldn’t. Ive learned to put my phone on DND because i cant get anything done sometimes otherwise. But i think playing games like this is weird anyway, I always prefer someone to text me back as they are able, whether immediately or not. God, dating is exhausting.

  13. I either text back in 5-10 seconds or 5-10 business days there is not in between like if I don’t respond immediately I will forget about it regardless of who it is

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