This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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I think I need to break up with my girlfriend. She just never wants to get married ever. She also doesnt want kids which I think I am open to not having them, but I do want to get married some day.
Also Im just kind of more frustrated with the way things have been going physically between us. Shes just gotten to the point where she feels comfortable being topless in front of me. We’ve known each other for 8 months and started dating/being physical 3 months ago. I am fine with not having sex yet, but I just want more than we’ve been doing and she says shes not ready yet. Her timelines feel completely arbitrary to me, because when we talk about it she just says “its a 2026 goal”.
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Cancelled my Hinge subscription last month to take a holiday break. It expired today. I was averaging 1-3 likes per day before.
Checked this morning and I have 7 new likes (of which I can see two) and an offer to subscribe weekly instead of monthly to see them all. Fuck them for monetizing dating like this.
I asked him if our anniversary would be the day of our first date and he said for dating yes and I asked if he was implying we would have an additional anniversary someday š¤
I’m happy today! I met someone on reddit a few months ago and we have been seeing each other weekly as friends since then and we are now a couple.š„° I’ve been single for a couple years and gave up the apps maybe a year or more ago. My patience and self-work has finally paid off!
Stuck between keep trying and giving up.
Ive had the most matches this summer ever and matched with some attractive girls that I felt were out of my league.
But at Last, been ghosted 4 times, had two girls who wanted to FaceTime which I agreed to then they ended up ghosting or saying they don’t have time (I wonder if maybe my profile Pic and how I look don’t match?) friends and colleague say I’m not cat fishing.
Matched with one of the most attractive girls ever but wanted to have a phone call which lasted two mins. Followed up to see if she wanted to go out on a date. She said from the phone call she didn’t feel a vibe.
I’m starting to think maybe it’s me. I wish I would get some feedback maybe I’m saying or doing something wrong on dates.
Also matched with a girl that I had matched with previously and surprise no response like last time.
Therapy session couldn’t have come soon enough. Therapist said something that I think is worth reflecting on. All of my rants and efforts to avoid harm, deception, etc with dating is probably in someways calling that in, or at the very least making me focus on that instead of the positive. Might be time to take a hiatus from this sub.
We were both too anxious around each other and couldn’t let our guard down to initiate intimacy. He wanted to take things slow but went so slow that it triggered a ton of anxiety in me. He didn’t communicate often with me and I felt neglected.Ā
We aligned in values, similar upbringing, similar life dreams, and had some overlapping interests. He was easy to talk to and we’d talk for hours, easily. Every date we lost track of time but it also felt like it was never long enough, and I felt like I could see myself loving him if he had shown more curiousity and vulnerability about his feelings for me or opened up more space in his life to explore me.Ā
It didn’t work out. I wish it did but I can see now that he isn’t ready to let someone in and that I may not be ready in some sense as well. I’ve never met a mirror of myself and it was intense and I’m not sure I was ready to meet my mirror.
I’ll miss you. I wish we had more time to take photos, try rollerskating, go backpacking, learn diving, and do woodworking amongst many other things together.
Not necessarily anything to do with dating since Iāve been happily married for a few months now. But last couple of nights I was just hit with memories of this man I dated in my very early 20s. Honestly it was more a situationship for us than anything but we kept up with each other until 4 years ago.
I still have, what I think is his number from way before and idk but Iām feeling this want to text him to just see how he is doing?
For some reason he kept deleting his social media over the years so I couldnāt really keep up with his life, but what I remembered the most was his kindness that led to me to look for that exact trait in my husband. Idk just in my feelings a bit, I did sleep on sending the actual text because thats is weird to do but itās been occupying my thoughts.
Iām honestly coming from a place of naivity and a good heart and just want to hear more outlooks on this.
After my decade+-long marriage ended I dove headfirst in the dating scene. I met some incredible people, honestly feeling very happy and blessed with my journey. None of them went further than one or two dates in a romantic way, but Iām still in touch with some of them platonically. Because I love to see them thrive and support the people I like.
Now Iām seriously dating someone and he has a bit of difficulties with this. Because a lot of my friends are guys, he knows itās already quite normal for me to have male friends.
On one hand I understand his issues with it, but Iāve fully chosen him. Plus with those guys it ended romantically before I met him, just because it didnāt fit in that way.
So I wonder a bit what to do. I try to keep my distance a bit more, or in the case of the guys becoming really good friends, tried to introduce them so he sees thereās nothing but platonic love there.
How would you feel in this scenario?
So one of my weaknesses with dating is that I have something of a people pleasing impulse that Iām trying to unlearn. Most of the time, this comes up when a person Iām seeing wants to escalate things faster than I do. Not so much with sex, but the way and the frequency that we communicate between early date. Texting more than I would like to be texting, that kind of thing.
In the last two weeks, Iāve been on three dates with this woman who I met on Bumble. Sheās really nice, super cute, and the dates have been fun. But she has also been pretty quick to put out elaborate ideas for things we could do in the future and to crank up how we stay in touch between dates. Not just more texting, but suggesting that we talk on the phone a few times during the holiday break, when weāll be in different places for 10 days. I reflexively agreed that we should do that, but after our third and most substantive date last night, Iām wishing I hadnāt. Because I now feel like thereās not enough of a foundational connection between us to be escalating things to this point; let alone exploring the possibility of a relationship long-term. So Iāve decided to break things off.
What Iām on the fence about is this: When I initiate the breakup, should I acknowledge how my initial positive reception to her suggestion that we do mid-holiday phone calls may have been misleading? Or would it be better to keep things shorter and simpler? My motivation in *maybe* taking the first approach isnāt trying to soften the potential blowback, because obviously thatās out of your hands when you break things off with someone. I feel badly about the possibility that my people pleasing tendency may have given her false hope here, and I sort of feel this urge to apologize for it, pre-emptively and out of respect.Ā
UPDATE: Keeping things shorter and simpler went okay. She seemed a bit surprised but not shocked. Breaking things off always sucks, but what can you do?
I feel like the guy Iāve been seeing for the last 3.5-4 weeks is ātaking off his maskā so to speak. Thought he was super sweet and romantic, with the flowers, good morning / goodnight texts, telling me how much he canāt wait to see me on our next date etc, and while I donāt unrealistically expect this 24/7, now he doesnāt do these things and heās a bit cynical, Iām learning. Everything is bad, restaurants, new colleagues, this town (he just moved here) etc etc.Ā
He still makes consistent date plans with me, initiates asking me out (and I ask him sometimes too itās not one sided) etc, tells me we have a good connection growing, so I donāt think heās losing interest, based on our quality of dates, but idk I feel like dating a different person that I was beforeĀ
He did ask me early into dating what my love language was and I said āwords of affirmation, then physical touchā so now Iām wondering if he was just saying those things to appease me beforeĀ
Hmmm idk – gonna do a vibe Ā check when I see him tmrw. He invited me to a holiday party
Been on antidepressant medication for close to 2 months at this point, and the psychiatrist put me on another last week.Ā It’s…. kind of working?Ā I feel like i dont feel quite as hopeless as I used to.Ā Mood is better but the improvement is subtle.
The relationship with the girlfriend is where it is right now.Ā I’ve started calling her a couple of times a week in the evenings, and I gotta say that’s made me feel a bit better in terms of staying connected when we’re not together.Ā We usually chat for 15-30 minutes; in terms of communication “needs” I feel like that’s okay.Ā I dunno, maybe this is just cope on my end.Ā Before I straight up end the relationship, I would like to see one of us have their own living space and see if things are then able to progress.Ā So I’ll move forward with asking my roommates to leave after the holidays.
If the relationship still doesn’t progress after that, I feel I have my answer.
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How do you transition an OLD conversation about a mutual interest in an in person meeting suggestion? I find I talk too much about mutual interests then abruptly suggest a meet up and then the conversation dies
I have my first date since my break up in an hour. Iām really not looking forward to it but Iād hate to do a last minute cancel. Itās a breeze date so it means we havenāt actually spoken at all – so my want to cancel isnāt about him and everything to do with the fact itās miserable outside, cold and rainy and if Iām completely honest, nowhere close to being over my ex.
i feel like a goof for asking but any chance for a thread where people can get profile reviews by DM instead of publicly? Trying to get into the dating scene at this age sure is interesting haha.
For context Iām a dude with like one month of dating experience over 30+ years, and I suspect my friends are all way too sweet to be candid with me about my negatives
Iām going to my first white elephant exchange and Iām kinda nervous? Lol just with meeting all new ppl, but once Iām settled in Iām totally fine in social situations, Iām easy to get along with and I get along with others easily. I bought a banana cutter as my gift lol
Very happily single this holiday season
Whatās your ideal living situation with a partner? House in the burbs, condo in the city, side by side duplexes, yurt in the desert, cabin in the woods, shack on the beachā¦
Posted a few days ago about the guy (M29) I (F32) was seeing suddenly texted me the morning of our third date saying he felt āno sparkā which shocked me as it went against everything he had been saying and acting upon.
Well he has been consistently watching all of my insta stories and last night gave me a ālikeā on a selfie.
Just why WHY is it like this! This has happened to me before that men come back saying they made a mistake and got overwhelmed with emotions etc etc.
I had just started to really like this guy when he pulled the plug and I hate these games now š«
I’m debating going to a NYE dating party thing. I went to a similar type of singles mixer thing a few years ago, in a different city, under different circumstances, and it didn’t go terribly… But also didn’t go well. So I’m not optimistic about this one. But the apps don’t work for me at all and I’m just not going to meet someone in my day to day life, so I’m not really sure what else to do.Ā
Can anyone give me reasons I should or shouldn’t go? Or other ways I should try to meet men? (I’m 31F if it matters.)
Anyone else feel like their loved ones have reached the Lifetime Maximum Allotted Heartbreak Support theyāre willing to provide?
Like yes, itās all my fault for choosing wrong, AGAIN, thank you. š
Iād like to see any of them tackle dating these days.
ykno dating this year has been everything i wanted and more. so many breakups! i learnt a lot about my preferences, my discomfort with boundaries, and that coming fresh out of an LTR comes with baggage, no matter how much i think iāve left it behind.
dating was never going to cure my depression. i got some important external validation, but itās also brought to the surface issues i never paid much attention to. i avoid people. i make myself unapproachable. iām scared of being rejected by friends rather than strangers. iāve got a lot to work on in therapy.
i also learnt how precious my time is, to keep expectations light, and to enjoy the experience that comes with getting to know someone as quickly as possible.
went on a date with a foodie who takes a bit of every dish, mixes it in her bowl, and eats the slop like cereal! was 20m from bringing a date home but she spent half an hour with the neighbourhood cats at 1am! experienced thinly veiled contempt from someone who was smarter but less kind than me!
bring on 2026ās freak show. still not paying for the apps šŖš¼
Anyone still trying to date? or will you just wait after the holidays and start again in 2026?
Saw my hookup yesterday. Feelings still growing. Fortunately heās going home for Christmas so thereāll be a good distance between us and we donāt really text between meeting so thereās no chance of building a connection via texting which is fundamentally a good thing.
Heās going on a 3 week trip at the end of Jan which is good and bad too. I want to ask and see if heād be up for a date (I doubt it) but with him going away, itās not great timing. This is good because the pressure is off to ask and Iām scared to, this is bad because I really want to ask.
He has so many great qualities, thereās so much I like about him. I greatly doubt my chances of finding a partner and he feels like *something* in a sea of nothing, I donāt want to lose that by admitting I want more than he likely does.
Evenin’ y’all! Give your all, or nothing at all. There’s nowhere left to fall when you reach the bottom. It’s now or never.
Weāre booking a weekend away! For end of January. Iām so excited! Itās so nice. I have no idea how we managed to fall so quickly into this combination of constantly sending sexy and flirty messages to each other and keeping this level of wonderfully filthy chats, but also being so comfortable with each other without any filters or hangups and discussing all the day to say and life stuff. We talk about everything, we text all the damn time, and we have so many plans. Itās brilliant.
Iāve introduced people Iāve dated to friends before, and heās the first person in a long long while where everyone agrees right away we fit super well together, and our energies match.
I donāt know how it always happened, but for the last few years Iāve kinda been adopting introverts. All the people Iāve dated were fairly isolated and didnāt have much of a social life and they relied on me to organise things and create a community. The fact this man is very much an extrovert, and has a thriving social life, and loads of things he does regularly just makes me happy. I also love how despite being very busy he finds time to text me constantly and itās easy to make plans. Heās so lovely. This is nice.
He just texted me that his mum was very surprised to hear heās not seeing me on Christmas Day. Iām away with a friend and donāt land back in the UK until the 25th. But since I donāt come back too late we might still be able to see each other. Itās all so sweet. I did make him the Christmas present I was going to, and it came out pretty damn cool! I did tell him I was working on a secret mission for him, and heās been really excited about it. I also told him not to expect anything big. He replied that itās more the fact I was making something at all thatās really touching, and whatever it is heās sure itāll be good. Awww!
I fly out tomorrow morning and we wonāt see each other until either Christmas Day or after. We said weāll video chat. This is a great period.
Neighbor lady and I were going to do something yesterday, but we both ended up too busy with work. Today she was going to come over for lunch, but then we had a blizzard and the schools closed, so her kids were home with her all day.
We’ll see what tomorrow brings, but after that I’ll be flying out with my kids to visit family for 11 days.
One of my friends was asking me questions yesterday, agreeing that dating these days sucks (he is in a relationship and feels so bad for us here). I said I was grateful for the apps, since I don’t hover in third spaces unless I have my kids and don’t look for what I consider blind dates (ie, only know you from a handful of interactions). He didn’t seem to get that.
Friend: “Reddit_P2E_Seeker, what would it take to get you to approach a woman in public?”
RPS: “I do that all the time! I have no problem talking to anyone, especially moms at parks. If I have the kids, I am focused on them. If I don’t have them, then I am task-oriented.”
F: “So, not looks? What if she was serving punch? Would you go talk to her if she was serving punch? What if she was making everyone around her laugh?! What if she was at a concert, dancing next to you, making people smile while talking about her gaming habits and kids?!”
RPS: “Only if I want punch…”
F: *falls dead on the floor in confusion*
RPS: (iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii’m broken.)
I tried to flirt with gym desk guy yesterday.
It did not work. I was awkward.
But maybe this will lead to further in-person practice. š