Hi,
I (M25) am involved in a relationship with F26 since 2020.
We've been through lots of hard times; losses of close relatives (like her mother), doubts about the future and so on. Is an apparently sane and convicted relationship. She loves me a lot, anytime we see each other (every day) she seems like a child in a candy shop… I don't think I love her as much as she, but, this is not the point.
In the last 3 years I had "crush" for other people, it's happened maybe 3 or 4 times, anytime I forced myself out, suppressed my feelings for the sake of my relationship, because I know that she's the one… mentally.
Recently, in the last 6 months, something started to change in me, I began to "feel" all the things that I left out of my life for her (like go living in another city or go to Erasmus – if you are European you know what I'm saying -), and this feeling is crushing me. I talked with her, she says she feels like an anchor for me, like she knows that I'm beginning to feel trapped, but we decided to go on.
I kept feeling this way an then, happened again, I think I have a crush on another person (F25), nothing happened on the "physical", basically when I'm with this person, I feel good, really good; we just talk, nothing more because I don't think she's involved and I don't want to cheat, so, again, I'm suppressing.
But, I'm starting to see a pattern.
I feel like shit obviously, I feel like I'm actually cheating; part of me want to end my current relationship, not for the actual crush but, I think that if it's happened before, maybe there is a "more generic" problem between me and F26.
What Y'all think about it?
P.s. Sorry for my bad English, It's not my first language, nor the second.
P.p.s. Last week we had a discussion about the future We want for us. Kind of discussion like: She wants children, I don't. So, there's this problem too.
My problem is that I'm afraid. I'm afraid because it's comforting to stay with her, as I said, she's the one. But I feel like I'm trapped, I literally don't know what to do.