Me (M21) and my now-friend (M20) just defined the boundary of our situationship, and I don’t know how to start moving on. How do you process this kind of loss?

We’ve been talking almost every day for about a year now, and for the past six months I genuinely believed we were kind of dating. He’s an amazing person: sensitive, kind, understanding, and really self-aware.

Around 4 months ago, things felt very dating like: we had flirtatious conversations, used pet names, and shared a level of emotional closeness I’ve never experienced before. Then we had a talk where we talked about what dating means to us. I thought he wanted to take things to the next stage. I didn’t notice it at the time, but after that discussion he slowly pulled back from affectionate language and some of the warmth. I kept it up, hoping it was just a phase, but he didn’t reciprocate the same way.

Recently, 2 months after that shift, I finally worked up the courage to ask him the questions I’d been dreading. Surprisingly, we both admitted we’d been holding back thoughts and worries because neither of us wanted to burden the other. It was actually a really mature, vulnerable conversation and, in a way, it strengthened our bond… like a lot.

But when I finally asked for clarity about whether we were heading towards dating, his answer was clear: he agreed we were in a “situationship” and that our friendship felt more than platonic, but he told me he will never date someone he met online.

I’m really torn. On one hand, I’m grateful for the honesty and the closeness we still have. On the other, I’m grieving the potential of what could’ve been. He’s the first person I’ve ever fallen in love with (like properly and deeply), and now all those night-time dreams and plans for the future are just… stories, unachievable fantasies. Nothing more.

I’ve always struggled to make any kind of friends, not even talking about dating, so I really put everything into this connection. Now that I know it won’t become what I hoped, I don’t know where to start moving on. How do you begin to let go when you still care about the person so much, and when the friendship itself still means the world to you?

Maybe additional info for clarification: I knew something was not right and that I shouldn't have put all my eggs into one basket, but I felt like it was a right thing to do – to give my all and bear the pain if it was a mistake. It wasn't a mistake, he is an amazing friend still… but I do feel the pain.