Girl I been seeing for about 9 weeks shows high interest, always makes time for me, we have sex, texts consistently, shows interest. She invited me out with her coworkers to an event on 4th date, which I was surprised, but happy to go with her. She is attractive and I know she gets lot of attention from men.
BUT the red flags are;
– anxious attachment and insecure; if i dont respond quickly, she will send me a text or pic to make me jealous. Like at a romantic place with a innocent text to make me jelous or get my attention. I feel like it is her defense mechanism or kind of emotional manipulation. I know she has trauma from a cheating bf and I dont think she has ever addressed it.
– went on 5 trips within this time span (1 international) and has another planned next week (international). She was very secretive about the first 3, didnt mention going overseas until i asked her plans for weekend even though we just hung out. She seems to keep information secret. The last trip she went with coworkers (almost all male) and drank on beach most of trip with them. Late 30s still living this lifestyle.
– when i first met her she said she doesnt drink, but slowly i start to see her habits. She said oh i just had a little last weekend, then next trip she says he drank 2 days in a row.
I get a weird feeling about her, but she is into me. Not someone to take seriously and get attached to? Or am I overreacting.
4 comments
1. Trust your gut
2. Communicate with her
If you get a weird feeling about her it’s actually a huge sign you shouldn’t ignore. Usually I get this type of feelings when somebody tries to manipulate me. The thing with manipulation is that even the harmless one are draining your energy really fast so you should really consider your own sanity first. Because this things will drive you insane real fast.
They actually already did drive you insane a little bit because you already questioning reality. This will escalate.
If we will try to look at this as objective as
we can, you will probably get bored quickly and burnt out because of her behavior and build up a wall. Both of you will be uncomfortable. Eventually this story will end without happy ending so either you adjust yourself for this behavior by understanding roots of this and just enjoy time with her as it is right now without looking much in the future or you break up right now.
Definitely red flags. Trust your gut. She may not be a bad person but just sounds like she has some shit to work out within herself
Don’t ever ignore your feelings and intuition. If something feels off, it probably is. It’s a good sign that she’s attracted to you, obviously. Anxious attachers are awful to deal with, so maybe a conversation with her is in order.