I'm a 65 year old man, and I have two children, a 20 year old daughter, Abby, and a 19 year old daughter, Emmy. Clearly, I had them later in life, and I'm now a single parent since their mother passed away 5 years ago. This post today will mostly pertain to my relationship with my Abby.
I can admit a few things here; I never wanted kids, to begin with. Never. I had my children so their mother would stay with me, as an ultimatum she gave me. I can also admit that I do not deal well with the emotions of others, and I was not raised to do so. I tend to shut down when people come to me with their emotions, but I thought my kids would be okay, because they had their mother when they became emotional. But let me get into it.
Abby was a daddy's girl growing up. But by the time she was probably 12 years old or so, I noticed she became distant. This continued on, and I never knew why, but I figured it was normal girl behavior for her age. Her mother and I split when she was 13, and I began to see the girls a little bit less, as their mother kept primary custody. Abby remained distant when she came to visit me. And now, at 20, it is no better. She does not open up to me or speak with me, and she honestly does seem to avoid me. Even just after her mother passed, she avoided me, and avoided showing her emotions around me. She gets irritable and tense when I walk into the room, and it's getting old. I do not understand it.
I just wonder if my lack of ability to handle emotions has played into it. I do also admit, I said some things I regret when her mother and I split. Only a conversation or MAYBE two,but I did mistakenly drag her into it those times.
I've tried to do right but I never wanted kids. I don't know how to have kids. Or connect with them. And I wish she saw my efforts to be a father (such as helping with some expenses) and knew I cared for her. She seems to want not much to do with me. I know nothing about her. Just would appreciate some advice as I will not open up to real friends of mine and have them view me differently.
TLDR: Daughter dislikes me.