EDIT-My wife currently doesn't require full time care. She still takes care of herself and I only help with things that are too difficult for her to do from a wheelchair. She dresses, bathes/showers herself, cooks and cleans, drives a modified car, etc. But, her condition may worsen in the future which would require me to step more as a caregiver. We are finanically secure, but a paying a caregiver in the future would fuck with our finances.
EDIT-PLEASE DON'T RECOMMEND THERAPY.-I have no interest in therapy right now due to personal reasons that have nothing to do with my wife or her situation. I also don't think therapy works for everyone or every single issue in life. I also have no interest in wasting my insurance coverage on therapy.
DON'T JUDGE OR SHAME ME FOR STATING MY WORRIES ABOUT THE FUTURE OR FEELING MY EMOTIONS
My wife and I have been married 10 years. A year after we married, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS). For several years, she walked with a cane/crutches. 18 months ago, she started using a wheelchair full time, she has adapted well and can still dress and shower herself, she can cook and clean from her chair. She works remotely in finance and makes a good living. But, I do worry about the future and her condition worsening and me stepping in more as a caregiver. I worry about burnout as I've heard about this from people in support groups. I have heard of people resenting their spouses over time and I don't want that to happen to me. I do self-care as I have hobbies that I do away from home with friends like hiking, playing pick up basketball, tennis, camping and fishing trips with my dad and my brothers. My wife encourages this as respite for me. I do know that if her condition worsens in the future I may not be able to do hobbies and self care that much.
I want to continue to love my wife despite her disability. But, there are times I grieve who she was before MS and during our dating years. I sometimes fell out of place with friends who aren't facing the issues I'm facing. I have had awkward conversations with friends when I have told them about having to modify my house to make it more accessible to my wife. A couple of friends have told me that if they were in my shoes they would probably divorce their wives.
How do I keep having a good relationship with a wife who may become more disabled in the future?