I’m curious about this from men who actually enjoyed their single life: dating, casual sex, meeting new people, the whole excitement of the dating world. How did you manage the transition into a long-term, monogamous relationship?
I ask because a common theme on AskMen is how crappy dating is (which I get). But honestly, I have been lucky and my experience of single life has been positive. I genuinely enjoy dating, even without the sex. I love meeting new women, deep conversations with new people, the thrill of romance, and of course the sex that comes with it. That said, I’m 35, and I recently broke up with someone I really cared about (mostly due to logistical issues like distance and work). I absolutely saw a future with her.
The struggle for me isn’t wanting a relationship really. I want that and enjoy having a girlfriend. But there is a tension between this and the pull of single life. Even when I’m happy in a relationship, I feel a palpable misery from missing out on dating and the experiences I’ve loved as a single guy. I know a lot of comments I’ve read say “you’ll have these feelings, just don’t act on them,” and I definitely don't. But it’s more than temptation, I feel it actively causes sadness.
So I’m curious, for those of you who loved being single and dating, how did you reconcile that when finally committing to one person? Did it just fade with time, or did you have strategies to make the transition easier?