I have 7 bridesmaids, 5 are black and 2 are not. Originally my cousin was supposed to style all of the bridesmaids’ hair on my wedding day but my future MIL offered to pay for a professional hairstylist to do it instead. That was about two months ago, we were having a talk about the logistics last week and she told me that it would be easier if I found a separate hairstylist for of my bridesmaids. Apparently she was under the impression that my black bridesmaids would be straightening their hair to get it styled and her stylist couldn’t accommodate them if they weren’t. She called and apologized for the confusion on Thursday but then asked me to tell my bridesmaids to make a decision about their hair soon so she could sign the contract with the stylist. I told her that I would figure out the hair for all the bridesmaids and she didn’t have to pay anymore. She seemed annoyed at that but didn’t push it.
I’ve known my MIL for around 4 years now(about the length of my relationship with my fiancé[26M]) and she has never been racist towards me or my family. I’m half Black and Asian. My MIL is white but my fiancé is half White and Asian, and my fiancé’s family is pretty diverse. In fact one of the five black bridesmaids is my fiancé’s cousin( MIL’s niece). I’ve literally never seen her be racist or make even a borderline racist comment until now.
My fiancé’s away on a work trip right now and he won’t be back for the next 1-2 weeks, and I didn’t want to worry him while he’s away so he has no idea any of this happened. Technically the issue has also been handled, and there’s no real indication that she’ll do it again but I don’t think I can let it go. The whole thing left a sour taste in my mouth. She was supposed to be in the bridal suite on my wedding day but I don’t even think I want her there anymore. I don’t know how to tell my fiancé about any of this and if she denies it, it would really just be her word against mine and she’s never been racist before. I don’t want her to talk to him first but I also don’t want to spring this on him when he’s away. How do I tell my fiancé and move forward with MIL?
TL;DR: My MIL expected my black bridesmaids to straighten their hair and wouldn’t pay for their stylist if they didn’t. This is out of the ordinary for her and I don’t know how to tell my fiancé who’s away on a work trip.