I (F24) have two male friends who both have very little relationship experience (almost none), despite being slightly older than 25. They respect women and have many female friends, including me, but are extremely unlucky in their romantic lives due to insecurities, fear of rejection, bad past experiences with being friend-zoned, etc. I wouldn’t say they have bad qualities, and both are quite handsome; I would simply describe them as insecure and scared of women they like.
However, they flirt with me, and they do it often, despite us being “platonic” friends. At some point, because of that, I developed feelings for one of them. It sucked, because he never made a move, and whenever I tried to initiate something, show interest, or even just flirt back, it made him uncomfortable and he didn’t react. So I stopped.
It pretty much ruined our relationship because I couldn’t understand how I was being perceived or treated. It felt like he was just playing with me and getting attention from me for validation. When I tried to talk to him about it, he avoided the conversation.
Side note: He is insecure and inexperienced, yes, but I’ve seen him invite girls he liked on dates. So I reject almost any possibility that he could have feelings for me, because he actually CAN make a move; in my case, he just never did.
I have many male friends, and they don’t flirt with me. I know some people have this style of communication in general, but I’m not one of them. I do perceive it as mixed signals whenever I experience flirting from someone of the opposite sex, which I think is quite logical, especially if we are both single.
Could someone give me an explanation of this behavior?
Would you flirt with your close female friends without any intention? If yes, why? Would you also do it if you are in relationships or your female friend is?
ADDITIONAL: You asked me to describe how exactly they flirt. That’s a fair point.
One of these two friends admitted that he did indeed flirt with me, so I know I didn’t misunderstand it. He didn’t explain why he did it though, even though I asked him.
The other one (the one I liked) likes to describe the appearance of a girl who is basically me and says that that’s his type. He comments on my looks in a special way, jokes about marriage with me, sends me relationship reels that pretty much describe us, is touchy, etc. Many small examples. The most recent one: we were buying drinks, and I asked if his drink was sweet. He replied, “Very sweet – just like you.” I mean…?