I’m really struggling and could use some outside perspective.
I (30M) have been with my fiancée (29F) for 3 years. We were long distance for most of that time and finally moved in together around April. She’s currently pregnant and due at the end of December.
At the end of November, my only older brother passed away suddenly in Zimbabwe. He left behind two young children. When I got the news, I was in shock. I felt a strong need to be there and not just for the funeral, but to see my niece and nephew and support my mum as well.
I booked a flight the next day and planned to be away from Wednesday to Sunday. I tried to limit the time because my fiancée is pregnant, my job couldn’t give me much leave, and money is tight with the baby coming. I genuinely believed I could go, say goodbye, support my family briefly, and be back quickly for my partner.
On the day I was meant to fly home, I was denied boarding because I didn’t have my British passport with me. I had travelled on my Zimbabwean passport and didn’t realise this would be an issue. Since then, I’ve been stuck trying to get an emergency travel document. The process took much longer than expected, but it’s finally been approved and I should be home early next week.
Being stuck here has been awful. I’m grieving my brother, worrying about the kids he’s left behind, taking unpaid leave, and constantly stressing about my pregnant fiancée being alone back home. I feel helpless and emotionally numb.
My fiancée is extremely angry and says I should never have gone, that I abandoned her when she needed me most, and that we could’ve saved the money. I understand how scared and overwhelmed she must feel, but I hoped she’d also understand why I felt I needed to go.
Today is her birthday and she’s blocked me. She told me she can’t do this anymore and wants to be left alone. I can’t reach her at all.
I never intended to abandon her. I thought I could be there for my brother’s funeral, see the children he left behind, and still be there for my partner. Instead, I feel like I’ve lost both at once.
How do I fix this when I’m not even home yet?