My husband (33M) and I (28F) have two twin girls (3F). They’re still young and honestly the light of our lives. After my pregnancy, my mental health took a big hit. I’m doing better now, but I can only work part-time because full-time just became too much for me to handle. My husband picked up the slack without hesitation. He works extra hours constantly just to make sure we’re okay.
And when I say he works hard, I mean hard. This man sleeps maybe 3–4 hours a night due to severe stress due to his work and our immigration status (we don't have our Green Card yet) and a bit of insomnia. Even then, he still kisses me before work, smiles at the girls, tries to help with dishes or laundry when he gets home. He never complains. But I can see it in him. The exhaustion. The weight. The pain he’s carrying quietly.
Last night really shook me. He came home late again, around 10:30 PM. The girls were deeply snoring and I was half asleep, so at first I didn’t think much of it. Then I heard something soft sobbing. It took me a moment to realize it was him. I froze. I don’t know why, maybe shock. When I finally got up, I saw him sitting on the couch, just absolutely bawling his eyes out.
I tried to comfort him, but there wasn’t much I could do. So I just held him and let him cry it out. It broke my heart in a way I can’t explain.
This morning, like every other morning, he went back to work as if nothing happened. No mention of last night. No acknowledgement. Just kissed me goodbye and left.
I don’t know what to do. I love this man so much and I’m terrified he’s slowly burning himself out for us. I feel guilty, scared, and helpless all at once. I want to support him the way he supports us, but I don’t know how to reach him when he won’t even let himself talk about it.
TL;DR My husband works himself to exhaustion to support our family while I work part-time due to postpartum mental health struggles. He sleeps only 3–4 hours a night and never complains, but last night I overheard him crying alone on the couch. This morning he acted like nothing happened, and I’m scared he’s burning himself out and don’t know how to help him.