This restaurant I go to often writes your name on to go orders when it's ready. So the cashier asks for your name. The past several times I've been, it's always been the same person working there.
Today she remembered my name and didn't have to ask me for it, which was nice of her. I tried to reciprocate the friendly gesture and asked for her name. I wasn't trying to make friends, just be polite. I subconsciously picked up some resistance from her, like her smile slightly faded and there was a bit of hesitation/discomfort in her voice. It was either like "I'm working right now and you don't need to know my name, that's not relevant" or "I don't want you to know my name, that's too personal". I asked some people and they said that I came across as weird by asking her name, since she was trying to be polite to a customer not make friends.
My question is how could I have known in this situation that "reciprocating" politeness wasn't the correct thing to do? I've always heard that not reciprocating a friendly gesture can be rude or standoffish.