I’m 28 and have never been in a serious relationship because no one ever wanted the same with me. Now that I’m on dating apps, I can’t find a match. My friends share crazy matrimonial site stories, but even though I’ve lived and traveled abroad extensively, I haven’t met a single man who seems genuine or someone I can see a future with.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing something wrong. I am picky, yes—but I’ve been independent for so long that I genuinely don’t need someone. Yet, watching my friends get engaged, married, or proposed to makes me feel stuck.

I’ve thought about therapy because I can’t figure out why I can’t just connect with someone and grow with them. Historically, it’s always been me putting in the effort—never the other way around. So part of me thinks something’s wrong with me. Another part thinks I just keep giving the wrong men chances. I seem to be drawn to “bad boys” with ego and red flags, even though what I want is a respectful, genuine partner—a real gentleman


5 comments

  1. What are you looking for in a partner and what are you attracted to, since it sounds like those two may be different things? How have you picked previous partners or what was the reasoning behind wanting to date them even if they showed red flags?

    How are you trying to find a relationship?

  2. Agree.. Does OP know what they want? Says picky but we are left guessing as to picky about what,? Hard to comment on this.

  4. Well do you know what you are looking for in a partner? And what you’re attracted to? As a guy I’ll give you an example of what I’m looking for in a woman Healthy communication (understanding each other’s communication style weather that’s talking for 10 minutes or 10 hours)

    To me it sounds like you’re attracted to bad boys and while that’s fine I think your issue might be you get attached too quickly and I say that with love I’d suggest maybe try dating with detachment meaning allow things to happen naturally.

    Also I gotta ask do you overlook the red flags?

  5. Wild how this is basically the “okay I’m ready to settle down now with the good guy after everything” phase lmao.

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