I just heard from two people recently after I confided in them about how I keep getting rejected. They said it’s possible I’m being too “direct” and it’s giving off a “desperate” vibe.
I am 30F and have been single for a very long time, and every time I think I’m finally getting close to having a relationship they back away from me when I thought everything was going really well.
When I like someone, I don’t play games. I don’t know how to even play games. There have been times I tried to “play it cool” and ignore texts for a few hours or be a little aloof but it feels so strange and inauthentic to me. When I like someone, I want to talk to them and spend time with them, have shared experiences with them, and just get to know them. And I make my intentions clear about what I am looking for and what type of relationship I want. But these two women told me that guys feel good when they chase women and it makes them feel like they are winning a prize, like it’s more fun for them.
On one hand, I can understand that, but doesn’t it seem like if they only want me when they can’t have me, are they really not wanting a serious and fulfilling relationship? I don’t want to chase someone and I don’t want them to chase me. I want it to be easy. If someone has to chase me, it means I’m not interested and them chasing me makes me uncomfortable.
But is this just the unfortunate reality and if I ever want to have a real relationship I have to play “the game” and make them chase me?