My (m25) ex (f24) and I have an interesting situation. We dated in high school for about a year and a half but the breakup kinda hit me hard. For a couple years after I would embarrass myself trying to reconnect with her and it came off as desperate. Eventually she told me she didn’t feel that way for me anymore and that was that, I finally accepted it and moved on.
The twist is that she’s still best friends with my sister, so she’s never really disappeared from my life. We’ve seen each other here and there over the years, but the recent interactions feel different.
She’s been living on the other side of the states for college for the past 4 years going to college, but she’s graduating soon and coming back home. Over the last few months, she’s been more talkative with me — in a way that feels warm and kind of flirty, but only when it’s one-on-one. She gives compliments, jokes around, and the vibe is definitely not cold or distant. It’s kind of hard to explain exactly the way we talk with each other, but it’s very familiar and comfortable.
A little while ago she texted me out of nowhere and asked, “Do you ever look at our old messages?” Then she apologized, saying she thinks she was mean to me back then. I told her she wasn’t, and that I had my own issues too. It was a surprisingly honest conversation considering how long it’s been.
I wouldn’t mind getting to know her again once she moves back — slowly, with no pressure. But I’m also cautious because of how things went years ago, and I don’t want to repeat old patterns or misread the situation.
Here’s what I’m trying to figure out:
• Is she just being friendly to keep things smooth since we share a social circle?
• Do the apology and the private, slightly flirty interactions mean she might be interested again?
• Is this just nostalgia, or is she testing the waters?
• Should I keep things minimal when I see her over Christmas since she’s not back for another six months?
• When she does move home, how long should I wait before even considering trying anything?
• And am I overthinking the whole thing?
I’m not trying to force anything. I just want an outside opinion on whether this sounds like there’s something there or if I’m reading too much into it. I’m also willing to answer any specific questions about the whole situation. It’s just hard to explain on a reddit post what the past 6+ years have been like.
TL;DR:
M25, ex F24 is my sister’s best friend. We broke up 6 years ago, things were rough, and I chased her back then. Recently she’s been warmer/flirtier, apologized for how she acted in the past, and she’s moving back home soon. I’m unsure if she’s just being friendly or if there could be something there again. Looking for outside perspective.