Both my bf and I have depression, I’ve learned what causes mine and how to deal with it when it gets hard. Out of the two of us, he’s the one in therapy but I’m not really sure how good that’s going, it only started recently. We started dating very quickly after we met and we’ve been together for 4 months only and already it’s been a rollercoaster for both of us. It does not help we both have mental issues and that there has been so much recent drama with friends. He also has been forced a break from academics after his mother realized how much of a toll it was taking on him so he spends most of his days in his house and only goes out when he has to do chores or if I manage to bring him out, not always successful since he has had very little energy recently. He’ll start classes again next year. Part of the reason for how he is right now is me and my recent actions which we’ve talked about and trying to work through.
It seems he gets stable whenever I’m around however, it is just not feasible nor is it fair for me to be with him 24/7. I have been setting off my academics and put my friendships in danger in order to try and keep him stable. I’ve been failing my academics and I truly don’t know if I’ll pass my current exams. I have also grown distant from all of my friends and and my bestfriend who I came to college with has told me she might find another place to stay at as it is not fair for her to wait on me to help with the things she cannot do (she has chronic pains). I’m trying to make a schedule to help me balance my life but I don’t know if I can keep it up in the long run.
Perhaps it’s me projecting but what usually helps me when I get like that is forcing myself to go out with friends or just go out in general. I’ve advised him to go out with friends but with the recent dramas that happened, he does not want to see them. He claims to not be a friends guy but it’s been concerning me that he has started shutting himself off from the world. I don’t mind him being clingy but I’m really concerned it will turn into an unhealthy dependence. A few of my friends are already concerned for me but I really don’t want to leave him, I want to help him get better and stop worrying my friends but I really don’t know if I can. I know I can just leave him and have an easier time balancing my life again but I really can’t bring myself to do it, not just because I’m worried about him but also because I do truly want to make this work. Of course I know I can’t fix him nor should I, that should come from himself, but is there any way I could help push him onto the “right” path or at least a path of healing.
TL;DR. Recent drama happened, bf is depressed. I’ve been trying to help him while balancing my life but it’s been too hard. Any advice on how I could potentially help him get through this?