So I, 18F, have been in a casual situation with this guy, 18M, for nearly a year. We first met almost exactly a year ago. In the beginning, we talked every day and had very normal conversations. About a month in, he made a suggestive comment for the first time. I immediately shut it down and told him I don't hook up with people unless it's an exclusive situation. He told me that he wasn't looking for a relationship, and I told him I wasn't either and that I just meant only hooking up with each other. He told me that he completely understood that and that he was completely okay with being sexually exclusive. We also had a conversation about what exclusivity meant to us, and we came to the terms that we wouldn't hook up with anybody else or talk to anybody else, but we're not together. In hindsight, it was doomed from the start.
Very quickly into our arrangement, I got sad and overwhelmed because it was my first casual situation, I was used to relationships, and I hated the feeling of not being wanted and feeling used for my body. I started talking to other guys behind his back and hooked up with a guy I met when I went out. The other guy really brought my confidence back, but for some reason, I couldn't let my situationship go. Things got rocky for the first time when I picked him up one day to go get food and hang out, and he brought up another girl in conversation. It was very casual and not in any way him trying to make me jealous, but that's exactly what it did. I got insanely angry (internally) at just the thought of him wanting to talk to another girl. Then, in May, prom came up, and he went with another girl. I was sick to my stomach even though she was just a friend. He texted me before, during, and after, and even tried to see me that night, but because I was so angry, I said no. After that night, I decided I needed to be done and cut him off without saying anything.
In June and July, he reached out asking to see me, and I said no. Then, in August, he reached out to see if he could see me before he went to college, I said no. In September, he came back home and asked to see me again, I said no. I was so angry at him, but I genuinely didn't know why, so I just decided it was because I hated him. During those months of us not seeing each other, I had multiple casual situations, and they went just fine with no emotions involved, so I was just convinced I had to hate situationship guy. In November, he reached out again to say he was home, and for some reason, I agreed to go see him. Immediately, it was right back to normal. Easy, safe, a good time. He assured me (unprovoked) that he still hasn't hooked up with or talked to anybody else ever since we started our situation last December, and I just took what he said and decided to believe it, given that I've always had his location, he shows me his phone unprovoked, and has never hid anything from me in the past.
After seeing him, it made me wonder why he waited for me and why we were still doing whatever we were doing, but I said nothing. A few days later, he texted me and asked me how he could do better in our situation, and after I told him, he said the only thing he wanted from me was to give him more conversation after hooking up and to text him more outside of us seeing each other. I agreed and went about my life. After a day or 2, it was eating me alive, so I texted him and asked him what the hell was going on. He told me he doesn't want me to feel like I'm being used, but our situation "just works" the way we've been doing it, and that he doesn't see this being a long-term thing. I said okay and left it alone. After that, I stopped texting him. I didn't see the point since this allegedly isn't long-term.
Barely any time passed before he texted me drunk, saying that he doesn't know what I want from him and that he does everything I ask of him, he hasn't seen anyone else, and that he's always waited to come home to me, even though he's at college with girls galore. I was SO irritated by that because he admitted he only sees this as a "short-term" situation (even though it's been a year…), yet he's in my face with this bull. It incited an argument, and I told him I didn't know if I could do this anymore. He responded with "then don't." Then I was like, "Okay, great, then this is done." Days later, he texted asking if he could see me, and I said no. I went on a date with another guy 3 days later. It was honestly just a distraction because I truly was upset and did miss him, but I couldn't put my pride aside at the moment. After the date, I was over being prideful. I didn't really care about my ego and texted him asking when he was coming home. He responded and told me, and since then, we've communicated a few times, but it's only been about when we plan to see each other.
I really want advice on this situation because I don't want to do the run around forever, and I definitely don't want to be the girl he runs around with until he finds "better." I can't tell what is happening and would really just take any advice at this point. Thanks in advance.